The clock read 11 p.m. and I was still in the lab but I couldn’t focus. But going home wasn’t an option. My adviser had required me and the rest of my lab mates to stay in the lab until she had time to read all of our reports. She had decided she wanted to meet early with each of us to discuss the single-paragraph descriptions of our work. We waited dutifully as each lab member took their turn. None of us dared to leave or to challenge our boss. I didn’t get home until 1:30 a.m.
It was one more reminder that I should have been more careful when selecting a graduate adviser. Unfortunately, I was foolish enough not to give the directing style a second thought. I was simply happy to have received an offer.
Part of the problem was that I had limited options. I moved to the United States with my husband, who had a good job in a particular city. It had only one university, with only one department that really interested me. So I started to volunteer in a research lab there.
I was a regular attendee at departmental discussion groups, and that was where I met my future adviser. After she presented a meeting, I approached her and we set up a time to chat. We had a productive discussion about her research. Later, I went to dinner with her lab group.
I didn’t pick up any signs of trouble, although one person who worked in a lab that shared space with hers did tell me about coming across one of her lab members crying in the break room. I ignored that warning sign. Within a few weeks, the staff member offered me a position in her lab as a master’s student. The opportunity seemed too good to pass up. I hoped it would work out.
It wasn’t long before reality set in. Group meetings were terrible. Our adviser was often angry.
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The situation disappointed me.
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A year later, I finally had the opportunity to change my adviser with a different lab.
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