How do you get a man to do his share of the housework? If you are like most women, you’ve faced this question the hard way.

A man will enjoy a clean, orderly house, but he usually won’t make the effort to clean or organize it. This doesn’t mean that a woman has to do all the housework; she may have to manage many of the household duties, and request her partner’s participation. A woman can often say that men and women should take equal responsibility for housework.

Very few men are raised to be fully responsible for housework, and many men look on housework as women’s work. On the other hand, most men will readily work around the yard, make repairs and complete projects on weekends or evenings, and it’s important that you give your man appreciation for those things, too. Most men will take on a little housework around the house if asked politely. They are even more likely to do housework if they can choose what they want to do, and do it without being monitored.

Here’s the key: men want to feel that they are doing housework either because they want to do a task, or because they simply want to please their women. Men are much less likely to take on household tasks they consider uninteresting and unimportant. In other words, men are likely to do a household task just for the good of the house.

Slowly, so slowly that we never even noticed how it happened, our family stopped talking to each other. Our own worlds opened up to us through the computer or the cell phone or the CD player.

Family Night was born when Mom called us for dinner. Jessica and I came and sat down. Dad loaded his plate and started to rise from the table.

“Where are you going?” Mom questioned.

“To the living room. I have some work,” Dad replied as he hurried away. Mom’s face got tight, but she said nothing. About two minutes later, my cell phone buzzed. Jessica kept her earphones on during most of the meal. Mom was clearly upset.

Family Night started the next week. Mom established three rules: no phones, no music, and no leaving the table. Everyone would eat together and play a game together “like a real family.”

All seemed to be going according to Mom’s plan until the first buzz of a cell phone. After dinner, we had been playing the board game for only ten minutes when another cell phone let out a shrill scream. This time the phone belonged to my father.

“Work’s calling. I have to answer,” he whispered as he hurried out of the room.

Mom sighed, but she forced a smile and encouraged us to continue with the game. We kept playing through every interruption afterwards: the beeping of Jessica’s phone, the buzz of another text message from Darnell, the soothing voice announcing the arrival of an e-mail on Dad’s computer. When the game was over, Mom released us to our rooms.

That first Family Night was not a success, but Mom soldiered on. Every Monday evening we silenced our electronics and gathered around the table; and each time, setting aside our technological toys became a little easier. The next two months my father would be taking business trips. We wouldn’t be able to have Family Night every Monday.

To my surprise I realized that I would miss those few hours each week when the house was filled with my family’s laughter and conversation. I was also glad to know that when we really wanted to, we could silence the electronic buzz and just be a family again.

Being sociable looks like a good way to add years to your life. Relationships with family, friends, neighbors, even pets, will all help, but the biggest longevity (长寿) seems to come from marriage. The effect was first noticed in 1858 by William Farr, who wrote that widows and widowers (鳏夫) were at a much higher risk of dying than the married people. Studies since then suggest that marriage could add as much as seven years to a man’s life and two to a woman’s. The effect can be seen in all causes of death, whether illness, accident or self-harm.

Even if the chances are all against you, marriage can more than compensate you. Linda Waite of the University of Chicago has found that a married older man with heart disease can expect to live nearly four years longer than an unmarried man with a healthy heart. Similarly, a married man who smokes more than a pack a day is likely to live as long as a divorced man who doesn’t smoke. There’s a flip side, however, as partners are more likely to become ill or die in the couple of years following their husband or wife’s death, and caring for your husband or wife with mental disorder can leave you with some of the same severe problems. Even so, the chances favor marriage. In a 30-year study of more than 10,000 people, Nicholas Christakis of Harvard Medical School describes how all kinds of social networks have similar effects.

So how does it work? The effects are complicated, affected by socio-economic factors, health-service provision, emotional support and other more physiological mechanisms(生理机制). For example, social contact can promote development of the brain and immune system, leading to better health and less chance of depression later in life. People in supportive relationships may handle stress better. Then there are the psychological benefits of a supportive partner.

A life partner, children and good friends are all recommended if you aim to live to 100. The overall social network is still being mapped out, but Christakis says: "People are inter-connected, so their health is inter-connected."