That day, I was going to skate a clean freestyle program for the first time in a year. I determined to land the axel (前外一周半跳) in competition.
“I can make it!” I thought as I skated to the center ice. When my music sounded, I started my program with a circular step and a bright smile, followed by a beautiful combination spin. Flying camel, sit spin, layback spin. Perfection. The jump! The axel!
I could do it when I practiced off-ice, but I’d only landed it on-ice approximately fourteen times in my entire life. So I was a little nervous. I’d leave it out if I could, but my Olympic dreams depended on it. My coach, Geena, put it early in my program so I could do it while my legs were not tired. Taking a deep breath, “I can succeed!” I thought.
I was on the right back outside edge of my skate blade (冰刀), ready to turn forward and launch into the axel. My nerves were back, working against me. “I can do this!” I thought. I stepped into takeoff and I did… a waltz jump (半周跳). It is a jump I’d been doing since I was pretty young. It is only one-half a rotation (旋转) instead of the one and one-half that I need for the axel.
I glimpsed Coach Geena’s questioning eyebrow as I glided past the door and imagined the disappointed looks on my parents’ faces. “It’s not over,” I reasoned to myself, glancing into the bleachers (露天座位). “I’d just replace the next jump with the axel.”
However, it didn’t work out the way I’d hoped. I fell, and I kept falling. Never one to give up, I replaced every jump in my program with the axel, but I didn’t land one. I spent so much time on the ice that it’s like I was making sure the ice was clean for the next skater. The two minutes, fifteen seconds of my program felt like an age. By the time I was done, my dress was soaked through and I was seven seconds behind my music, so I finished skating to silence.
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As I skated toward the exit, I felt everyone was looking at me with pity.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________The performance going on, I rose up from the bleachers, determined to go home but my parents held me up.
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