Family fights are never pleasant. Whether you are dealing with a loud sister or a stubborn mom or dad, the situation can be bad. At least that’s what we have learned to expect.

What if it could be different? What if family fights and conflicts could be turned into opportunities to become closer? What if problems could be solved with everyone walking away feeling more deeply cared for and loved?

Family fighting is, on one level, about power. Someone is telling someone else what to do. In a short moment, emotions can be brought out and the fight is on. You can go down that old road or you can try something different.

In any fight, you have a need to be listened to and understood. People raise their voices and shout at each other because they’re not being listened to. It’s totally unconscious. You want your mom or dad to listen and understand. But you always seems to forget the person you’re fighting with has the same need to be listened to. So if you can put aside your need for a few minutes, the situation will change quickly. Give the other person some time to express his or her feelings, and you will earn your turn to be listened to.

And while you are listening, you have to listen for the right information. The best way to do this in emotional situations is to forget most of the words because many people can’t express what they are feeling with words alone, especially when they are upset.

But if the situation starts to get out of hand, it would be wise to just calm down and leave the problem until later because many fights happen at the wrong time. The situation will die down quickly, usually in less than 30 seconds. You can either move on to problem solving or reach an agreement to work on it at a better time.

This way, everyone will feel respected and listened to, even when there is conflict. Emotions will be understood and respected, and it will bring your family closer together.

WHEN my brother Joe was 6 months old, my mother brought him home from the hospital and told me to watch him while she fixed supper. We started playing a game I called “dogs”, rolling on the floor like pups (小狗). Then I looked up and saw my mother watching us. She was crying.

“He’s blind,” she said. “The doctor told me today.” I looked at Joe. He was laughing. “He can’t be blind,” I said. “He smiles at my face.” “He smiles at your voice,” she said. “He’ll never see your face.” That was that. Joe was blind. Mama went back to cooking. I went back to playing a dog.

From the age of 8, Joe boarded at a school for the deaf and the blind, learning to read Braille. When he was 16, the school said he’d learned enough and sent him home with a Braille typewriter. At 21, Joe moved out to live on his own, he said, “like a man,” in an apartment 30 miles (48 km) away. He learned to cook, clean, do his own laundry, and do almost anything else he needed.

Then he met the love of his life. She, too, was blind. When Joe called to tell me, he said: “Even a blind man can fall in love at first sight.” They shared 10 good years before he lost her to cancer. Painfully soon after, he also lost our mother, who was his champion, and our stepfather, who was Joe’s best friend.

What is left when you lose the loves of your life? My brother clung with an iron fist (拳头) to three gifts: Faith, hope and love.

His faith grew stronger. He always had hope. And his love for his family has never gotten weaker, despite death or disappointment. Loved ones leave, but love remains.

The years ahead may prove to be his hardest. His legs are growing weaker, threatening to take away the independence he’s fought so hard to keep. My sister and I often wonder what will happen if Joe can’t live on his own. It’s not up to us. We’ll do what we can, but it’s his life. He won’t have it any other way.

You don’t find strength to do something until it’s time to do it. Joe has found it whenever he has needed it. I believe he will again.

Every parent wants their children to develop well. 【小题1】. However, for a child, play is the main way of interacting with the world, mastering new knowledge and skills. The game performs several functions.

【小题2】. Through the game, the child learns new skills and develops speech, thinking and logic, memory, attention and other mental functions. This applies not only to special educational games, but outdoor games which promote physical development and strengthen the health of the child. Also, any games develop creativity and imagination.

Way of communication. A game for a child is also a way to convey to an adult their experiences: joys, anxieties, fears, hopes, expectations. Often, through the game, the child tells parents something important about himself and learns something important about his parents. The game is a way to be closer, to feel the support, care and love of parents. 【小题3】.

Development of social skill and familiarity with social roles. 【小题4】. Through the game, children learn about the concepts of “good” and “bad”. In games, children learn different social roles: they learn to be parents, friends, teachers, doctors, kings and presidents. Many games develop independence and responsibility, teach the child to overcome difficulties, take care of others, give gifts and share.

Pleasure and joy. The game brings pleasure, joy and a lot of other positive emotions to the child and the significance of this cannot be underestimated (after all, even for adults, positive emotions are very important: they support us, help us develop and look at life positively). 【小题5】. It is the key to the full development of the individual.