A core human need is validation (认可) that experience of feeling seen and understood. We long for it. We don't feel safety, belonging or mattering without it. According to Oprah Winfrey, who has interviewed thousands upon thousands of people from ordinary folks to world leaders and highly successful business people, they all ask her the same question after the interview: "Did I do OK?"

In seeking validation many people talk without listening first. We are eager to make our next point and be validated. So we don't listen. While the other person is speaking, we are arranging our next piece of brilliance and persuasion in our minds. When we're told we need to be more "present" or even told to talk less, we start out with the best intentions, but soon find ourselves competing for airtime.

As leaders, part of our job is to find our validation elsewhere and give the gift of listening to our team.

Here's how you can help yourself become a more successful listener: ask more questions. Ask questions and actually listen for the answer and keep your mouth closed until it's time to ask the next question. Try keeping the ratio of questions to you offering your opinion at 80% questions to 20% your opinion.

In a team, especially if you are learning to collaborate better, try a few meetings using a device like a talking stick (only the person holding the stick can talk) to ensure that everyone gets equal airtime. The "talking stick" concept comes from Native American traditions but can be any object that is culturally appropriate for your team﹣even a pen will do.

In the age of organizations as living organisms, listening is the skill that will help your team soar—and give them the emotional experience they long for.

MySpace，the social networking website，is different from other websites which only provide stories about other people. MySpace is a place that allows you to broadcast your own stories and personal information to as many people as you like. Started two years ago，it is a big source of information for and   about American kids.

Teenagers and their parents feel very different about it. Teens are rushing to join the site，not sharing their parents’ worries. It signals yet another generation gap in the digital era.

For teenagers，it is reliable network to keep in touch with their friends. They will often list their   surnames，birthdays，after­school jobs，school clubs，hobbies and other personal information.

“MySpace is an easy way to reach just about everyone. I don’t have all the phone numbers of my acquaintances. But if I want to get in touch with one of them，I could just leave them a message on MySpace，”said Abby Van Wassen. She is a 16­year­old student at Woodland Hills High of Pittsburgh，Pennsylvania.

Parents on the other hand are seriously concerned about the security problems of MySpace. “Every time we hold a parents meeting，the first question is always about MySpace，”said Kent Gates，who travels the country doing Internet safety seminars(研讨会)．The National Centre for Missing and Exploited Children has received at least 288 MySpace ­ related complaints，according to Mary Beth Buchanan，a lawyer in Pittsburgh.

“Your profile on MySpace shows all your personal information to anyone on the Web. And MySpace even lists this information by birthplace and age. It’s like a free checklist for troublemakers and it endangers children，” Buchanan said.

In the eyes of many environmentalists, the world appears to be getting worse. They believe, the natural resources are running out and the air and water are becoming ever more polluted. But if we check the facts, things look different. Energy has become more abundant, not less so. Fewer people are starving. What seems to cause this gap between perception and reality?

One factor is the prejudice in scientific research. Scientific funding goes mainly to areas with many problems. That may be wise policy, but it will also create an impression that there are more potential problems than actually exist.

Secondly, environmental groups seek attention from the mass media. They also need to get continuous financial support. Understandably, perhaps, they sometimes exaggerate (夸大) their arguments. In 1997, for example, the World Wide Fund for Nature issued a statement titled: “Two thirds of the world’s forests lost forever”. The truth turns out to be near 20%.

The media can add to confusion too. People tend to be more curious about bad news than good. Newspapers and broadcasters are there to provide what the public wants. That, however, can lead to significant misinterpretations. For example, when a natural disaster happens, the media usually highlights the negative parts, giving more attention to the disaster’s details and what happens afterward. This flood of bad news can make people think that such events are more frequent or serious than they actually are. Consequently, people may develop a sense of insecurity, despite statistically low probabilities of similar events happening to them.

Another factor is people’s poor perception. People worry that vaccines can cause severe side effects or long-term health problems. Despite extensive scientific evidence demonstrating their safety and effectiveness, some individuals remain hesitant due to unfounded fears.

It is crucial that we look at the facts if we want to make the best possible decisions for the future. It may be costly to be overly optimistic – but more costly still to be too pessimistic.