The old romantic saying is a cute one, but according to recent studies, opposites don't necessarily attract.

Research shows that people tend to seek out relationships with—and eventually marry — partners who have similar defining characteristics, such as age, political orientation, religion, education, and income.

“ Generally speaking, when we think about opposites attracting or not, we're thinking in terms of personality rather than these big key factors," says Vinita Mehta, a clinical psychologist and writer based in Washington, D. C.

One big factor as to why this may be is simply your stage of life: where you live, what lifestyle you have, and what kind of people you're exposed to.

“ If you’re on a college campus, by and large，you’re going to find people who are in your age group,'' Mehta says. "You're going to find people who at least eventually become part of the same general income strata. ”

Researchers from the University of Kansas made a courageous claim. A study released earlier this year analyzed real-world relationships and asked couples (romantic partners, friends, and acquaintances) about attitudes, behaviors, values, prejudices, and personality characteristics that were important to them. The pairs that had closer and more intimate relationships were not necessarily more similar than newly formed pairs, and people shared similarities on almost every personal issue that was measured.

The lead psychologists on this study believe this doesn't happen by chance ； it's so common and widespread that seeking out like-minded people may be our psychological default when we make new friends or romantic partners. We certainly get the most out of these relationships. They make us more comfortable and trusting of the other person, and that makes it easier to cooperate and achieve goals.

As far personalities go, connecting on major characteristics, like levels of neuroticism (神经质)and conscientiousness, generally lead to happier couples. But that doesn't mean you and your significant other need to agree on everything. Having different habits——fewer defining parts of your personality, like your favorite sport or foods---can introduce you to new activities and ways of thinking, which can make you a more well-rounded person.

Small talk has a reputation for being uninteresting, and for good reason. Pointing out the fact that it’s raining seems as ridiculous as pointing out the fact that you have a head—you’re fully aware of both things, and don’t require an outsider to confirm them. But despite being evident and often painfully dull, small talk has an important role to fulfil, enabling us to leap over a number of social obstacles towards improved, meaningful interaction.

Humans can be sensitive souls. We each have our boundaries and lists of potential upsets, which when broken, cause us to either gently back away to an alternative position in the room, or become cross at the person. Small talk is first a way to test the waters with an unfamiliar person, so that you may better understand their personality. When finding yourself positioned closely to a person who you know little about, it’s much safer to point out the rainy sky than to share your political views on a sensitive topic. Until you know the person better, heavier topics should probably be kept under wraps, so you won’t find yourself on the receiving end of a cold stare.

Though insignificant, small talk still has great power. When talking with fellow humans, much of our soul is exposed through non-verbal communication. A response to “how was your weekend” can unveil much about the person’s character. The length of their response might indicate their level of self-confidence; the tone of speaking might show how agreeable a person is; their slightly lowered head, as if protecting themselves from attack, a possible sign of a regrettable history of bullying.

As more of a person’s character is revealed, we have the insight needed to determine whether to broach more significant topics—the things that we actually want to talk about. Conversation is a great educator, and deep conversation establish lasting bonds with our fellow humans, forming precious friendships that paint our lives with vibrant colors. Such friendships begin with small talk.

People are seeking for opportunities that will assist them in reaching their goals. Marketing yourself can be a good choice, which can help you achieve your goals. Though when people talk about marketing, they usually think that this is about producing a sale, it does not necessarily have to be.

If you are an employee then you want your boss to take your ideas, and if you are on a job hunting then you want to find a good position. So in reality, marketing really leads to sale. So marketing yourself means you are simply “selling” yourself!

The common problem in marketing yourself is that most people think that it is unpleasant to market themselves. They think that marketing concerns only to a business. Of course, this is absolutely not true. People who want to attain the success they desire must promote themselves.

Marketing yourself is a useful tool. The better you market yourself, the more opportunities you will have. Marketing yourself does not really mean telling every person how beautiful and wonderful you are. It means letting your prospective employer know that you exist or you can do something better.

There are actually several different ways of marketing yourself. But there are only two primary ways that you carry out. The first is to find ways to reach out to others and the second is to construct ways in order for the people to find you and make connection with you.

To reach out and touch the lives of others, you have to be a good person and a good employee. In that way your good reputation will follow naturally. Have a brief and concise message that you can share with others. When you market yourself, you tell people who you are and what you can do for others. Plan well and practice your message.

In constructing ways for the people to notice and make connection with you, you must be open to them. Communication is a great opportunity to make an impact especially when you market yourself. You also communicate by what you are wearing. Know the appropriate dress code and have plenty of time to decide what you will wear. Just remember to make a great first impression!