I stood in my father's garden one late summer evening, watching my three kids dig in the dirt with toy bulldozers (推土机). I had driven up to my parents' house that afternoon in a fit of desperation. My husband was working a double shift, my twins hadn't napped, and I was one misstep away from a complete breakdown.

"Come up," my mom said, "Let's rest for a white."

As the day of temporary relaxation drew to a close, I wandered along Dad's once-neat garden rows and noticed the tomato plants Dad had planted.

"Roma tomatoes, the kind for sauce. Remember when your mom used to make sauce?" my father said.

I hadn't thought of it in years actually. It was a recipe passed from my Italian immigrant great-grandmother down to my grandmother and then my mother. And that's where it had stopped. Though I liked cooking, I didn't want to waste much time on the dish. Why should I simmer (慢慢地煮) tomato sauce all day when I could make different kinds of dishes?

Dad gave me an idea. "I'm going to make sauce," I said. My father raised a skeptical eyebrow but grabbed some boxes and told the kids to start picking. The twins threw tomatoes like softballs to each other as the youngest begged to join me. Everyone was crying at one point, and I almost gave up on grand scheme. Yet something inside me fought back, a deep-seated fancy for finding the link between the recipe's owner and me.

At last, I successfully finished my sauce and it was approved by my parents. The efforts I made with those boxes of tomatoes gave me a sense of accomplishment. Each crank of the handle, each slice of the knife, each stir of the stockpot was a prayer for comfort and confidence. Like most things that are worthwhile, the mess was part of the process.

Growing up in Venezuela, there was never really much cause to learn English. For five years, I spent two hours a week understanding “to be”, numbers, colours, and the differences between saying “good evening” and “good night”. I would always get top marks. Yes, that used to be me, walking like a queen among Spanish speakers every day. “Bring it on, life,” I said. “I can deal with whatever you will give.”

But when I moved to Canada, life hit me so hard that it knocked me down. Years later, I was still recovering. Living in a new land, with different people, new rules, new weather, a new culture and language, I was no longer a queen. Did I speak English? No, not at all. So, I went back to school, thinking that it was a challenge I would conquer in record time. But English was more like a wall in my path. Even after getting a job, it took all my courage to stop myself from crying. I was completely at a loss and scared. Learning English, speaking and listening—it hurt me. Not the language. Not the unkind people. It hurt because I wasn’t good, despite my efforts.

Now, after almost seven years in Canada, I’ve decided not to say sorry for my accent, grammar mistakes, or pronunciation. I’m going to run after my dreams and enjoy a beautiful, rich and fascinating language. Don’t get me wrong. My brain still screams “Give me a break!” from time to time, but that’s completely natural. I know it’s going to take a while, but at least now I accept the person I am—not the perfect person I thought I was.

Medicine is a degree that consists of an endless number of exams, and recently I received my first year results. Waiting for those results was one of the most anxiety-generating experiences.

【小题1】 Failing brings judgement from others, a topic of discussion for people, and the right for others to say you are not capable. The stress associated with failing is created by others around you, rather than by the event itself.

I have recently been reading The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel, which clarifies that failure has a strong presence among those who have achieved success. People will always focus on Warren Buffett’s success as an investor. 【小题2】

The process of achieving success has often involved setbacks and “failures” along the way. I received a “pass” grade on an important research paper during my master’s, which put my final grade in a dangerous situation. I was rejected from medical schools which I’d spent time and effort applying to and preparing for. 【小题3】 I also began studying Medicine last year.

【小题4】 But you should know that with each failure you are closer to success, building further layers to the foundations you started. Behind every successful person are more obstacles and setbacks, but these are not as interesting to focus on or as enviable.

The noise around you, whether it be from co-workers, friends or parents, should not shake your belief in your abilities. 【小题5】 Learn what you need and correct your approach until you reach your success.