Blind imitation(模仿)is a disaster. To those who do not recognize their unique worth, imitation appears attractive; to those who know their strength, imitation is unacceptable.

In the early stages of skill or character development, imitation is helpful. When I first learned to cook, I used recipes and turned out some tasty dishes. But soon I grew bored. Why follow someone else’s way of cooking when I could create my own? Imitating role models is like using training wheels on a child’s bicycle; they help you get going, but once you find your own balance, you fly faster and farther without relying on them.

In daily life, imitation can hurt us if we subconsciously hold poor role models. If, as a child, you observed people whose lives were bad, you may have accepted their fear and pain as normal and gone on to follow what they did. If you do not make strong choices for yourself, you will get the results of the weak choices of others. In the field of entertainment, our culture glorifies celebrities. Those stars look great on screen. But when they step off screen, their personal lives may be disastrous. If you are going to follow someone, focus on their talent, not their bad character or unacceptable behaviors.

Blessed is the person willing to act on their sudden desire to create something unique. Think of the movies, books, teachers, and friends that have affected you most deeply. They touched you because their creations were motivated by inspiration not desperation. The world is changed not by those who do what has been done before them, but by those who do what has been done inside them. Creative people have an endless resource of ideas. The problem a creator faces is not running out of material; it is what to do with the material knocking at the door of imagination.

Study your role models, accept the gifts they have given, and leave behind what does not serve you. Then you can say, “I stand on the shoulders of my ancestors’ tragedies and declare victory, and know that they are cheering me on.”

By now you’ve probably heard about the “you’re not special” speech, when English teacher David McCullough told graduating seniors at Wellesley High School: “Do not get the idea you’re anything special, because you’re not.” Mothers and fathers present at the ceremony — and a whole lot of other parents across the Internet — took issue with McCullough’s ego-puncturing words. But lost in the uproar was something we really should be taking to heart: our young people actually have no idea whether they’re particularly talented or accomplished or not. In our eagerness to elevate their self-esteem, we forgot to teach them how to realistically assess their own abilities, a crucial requirement for getting better at anything from math to music to sports. In fact, it’s not just privileged high-school students: we all tend to view ourselves as above average.

Such inflated self-judgments have been found in study after study, and it’s often exactly when we’re least competent at a given task that we rate our performance most generously. In a 2006 study published in the journal Medical Education, for example, medical students who scored the lowest on an essay test were the most charitable in their self-evaluations, while high-scoring students judged themselves much more strictly. Poor students, the authors note, “lack insight” into their own inadequacy. Why should this be? Another study, led by Cornell University psychologist David Dunning, offers an enlightening explanation. People who are incompetent, he writes with coauthor Justin Kruger, suffer from a “dual burden”: they’re not good at what they do, and their very incapability prevents them from recognizing how bad they are.

In Dunning and Kruger’s study, subjects scoring at the bottom of the heap on tests of logic, grammar and humor “extremely overestimated” their talents. What these individuals lacked (in addition to clear logic, proper grammar and a sense of humor) was “metacognitive skill”: the capacity to monitor how well they’re performing. In the absence of that capacity, the subjects arrived at an overly hopeful view of their own abilities. There’s a paradox here, the authors note: “The skills that lead to competence in a particular domain are often the very same skills necessary to evaluate competence in that domain.” In other words, to get better at judging how well we’re doing at an activity, we have to get better at the activity itself.

There are a couple of ways out of this double bind. First, we can learn to make honest comparisons with others. Train yourself to recognize excellence, even when you yourself don’t possess it, and compare what you can do against what truly excellent individuals are able to accomplish. Second, seek out feedback that is frequent, accurate and specific. Find a critic who will tell you not only how poorly you’re doing, but just what it is that you’re doing wrong. As Dunning and Kruger note, success indicates to us that everything went right, but failure is more ambiguous: any number of things could have gone wrong. Use this external feedback to figure out exactly where and when you screwed up.

If we adopt these strategies — and most importantly, teach them to our children — they won’t need parents, or a commencement (毕业典礼) speaker, to tell them that they’re special. They’ll already know that they are, or have a plan to get that way.

This year I spent time at the city’s dances for the mentally disabled to fulfill my service hours. At first I felt troubled with the idea of working with the mentally disabled because I had never   been around them before. 【小题1】 They arrived in groups with leaders and waited for the doors to open for what seemed the highlight of their week.

Once I was there for a few minutes, I didn't feel uncomfortable at all. I actually became interested to hear what they had to say. 【小题2】 They were getting along well and it was clear how excited they were to see familiar faces every Friday night. I realized that I meant something   to them when I skipped a Friday and they asked where I had been. I was missed! 【小题3】

Toward the end of my experience at the city's dances for the disabled, I knew their stories and faces and felt things that I had never experienced. I realized what I had thought about the mentally disabled was wrong. 【小题4】 They love life and take it for everything it's worth.

【小题5】 Now I look back and realize what an effect they had on me. I feel thankful that I was born the way I was. I have learned to respect disabled people for their daily struggles, and meeting them has also made me learn to love every minute of life. They taught me that no one can judge what is "normal".