Some people ran into me in the dining hall today — they were on their phone and didn’t see me. The dining hall was packed, as usual, so I couldn’t move out of the way in time. They ran into me, but I said sorry. They said nothing and kept walking.

It reminded me of the theory that women are more likely to step out of the way if the sidewalk is too narrow. My friend likes to test this theory out for herself — she walks straight on her path and sees if men will move out of her way. Many of them have run into her unless she moves at the last second. She realizes that she is always the one who apologizes when that happens. I say sorry for things like that all the time. It made me think: why am I apologizing for something that isn’t my fault?

From a young age, I was taught to apologize when I did something wrong. Over the years, there have been more and more sorrys in my life. I started apologizing even when I was in the right. I apologize to escape conflict. This pattern is especially prevalent in women. Women are socialized to be more passive. We aren’t expected to stand up for ourselves; we’re expected to keep our heads down and apologize.

Of course, I value a good apology. A genuine apology helps, but I think it’s only the first step in actually making amends. People can say sorry and not mean it. Or, some people give a sincere apology but never change their behavior. What’s the point of apologizing if you’re going to do the same thing again? Sorry is just a word — actions are what matter.

Apologizing can be tiring. Once you say sorry, you’re accepting responsibility. There’s no need to blame yourself for something that isn’t your fault. Conversely, it’s tiring to hear “sorry” and have that person do the same thing again. Deeds speak louder than words. So start making changes instead of saying unnecessary sorry.

Not all great writers are great spellers. If you want to be published, it's vital to submit a perfect, professionally presented manuscript (原稿). 【小题1】 No editor is likely to tolerate a writer who does not take the trouble to spell words correctly.

I keep two reference books close-by on my desk: dictionary and thesaurus (同义词词典). I don't trust my laptop's spellchecker. 【小题2】 Of course, these days there are plenty of online dictionaries and thesauruses, but I'm old-fashioned enough to prefer a hard cover and pages I can leaf through with my fingers. I use the Concise Oxford Dictionary and the Collins Thesaurus.

【小题3】 It should give you a precise definition of each word, thus differentiating it from other words whose meanings are similar, but not identical. It will also usually show how the word is pronounced.

In addition, I have an old two-volume copy of the Shorter Oxford Dictionary, picked up a few years ago in a bookshop sale for just 99 pence. Of course, with its 2,672 pages, it's not exactly short. It contains around 163,000 words, plus word combinations and idiomatic phrases. 【小题4】 However, if I need to check the origin of a word or to look up examples of its usage, there's nothing better.

For well over a hundred years the most influential English dictionary was Samuel Johnson's Dictionary of the English Language published in 1755. "To make dictionaries is dull (乏味) work," wrote Johnson, illustrating one definition of "dull". 【小题5】 A few minutes spent casting your eye over a page or two can be a rewarding experience.