The term “social distancing” has been at the center of public conversation for a while. But it’s not “social” distance we are trying to promote. It’s physical separation. In fact, preserving social ties — even at a distance — is essential for both mental and physical health. The results of an analytic review published in 2017 indicate that a lack of social support is on a par with smoking cigarettes as a risk factor for health.

Given this fact, how might we best stay connected with others while maintaining physical distance? Would we be better off e-mailing a friend? Making a phone call? Having a video chat? In our study, Nick Epley and I tested whether the media through which people interact affects their sense of connection and how expectations of certain technologies impact the communication media they choose to use.

In our experiment, we asked participants to reconnect with someone that they hadn’t interacted with recently, either by e-mail or over the phone. Participants first made predictions about what it would be like to get in touch if they connected in these two ways. They generally believed that they’d feel more connected when interacting over the phone than by e-mail. But they also predicted that talking on the phone could be more uncomfortable than sending an e-mail. Although these participants believed that talking encouraged stronger bonds, most of them said they’d rather send an e-mail than call the person up. It seemed that fears about awkwardness pushed individuals towards text-based methods for communicating.

In the next part of the experiment, we had participants use one randomly determined mode of communication to actually reconnect and then tracked them after they had done so. We found that people did form meaningfully stronger bonds when interacting over the phone than by e-mail. Importantly, though, there was no difference in the amount of discomfort when they were reconnecting over the phone. The next time you think about how best to connect, consider calling or having a video chat. Feelings of social connection are preferably facilitated by voice rather than a keyboard.

Some people just know how to start a conversation with anyone, in any place. If you're not one of these lucky types, don't worry.【小题1】

Remark on the surroundings or occasion. If you’re at a party, for example, you could comment on the food or the music in a positive way like this: “I love this song." or “The food’s great.”

【小题2】For example. “How is the wine?” or “Who do you know here?- Most people enjoy talking about themselves so asking a question is a good way to get a conversation started.

【小题3】For example, “I really like your purse. Can I ask where you got it?- or “You’re really doing well in this. Can you show me how to do it?”

Remark on anything you have in common. People would like your saying “My daughter went to that school, too. How does your son like it?"

【小题4】Don't say something that obviously causes offence and avoid heavy subjects such as politics or religion. Stick to light subjects like the weather, surroundings，and anything you have in common such as movies or sports teams.

Listen effectively.【小题5】You can't concentrate on what someone's saying if you're thinking about what you’re going to say next. The key to effective communication is to focus fully on the speaker and show interest in what's being said. Nod occasionally, smile at the person, and encourage the speaker to continue with or “uh huh.”

You are standing in a hall packed with friends, family, colleagues and peers. You are about to walk onto the stage and address theme. You’re expected to say something meaningful and profound and everyone is hanging on your every word. You need to be clearly spoken, confident and calm, maybe even funny. How do you feel?

If you’re shaking, sweating and looking for the exit, you’re normal. Most of us are scared of public speaking and yet, as a society, we’re becoming more obsessed with hearing what people have to say: we watch endless TED talks, download podcasts and screen hours of YouTube clips. Being able to address a crowd is no longer the domain of the brave—if you want to get ahead in your career, you need to master it. I’ve done enough public speaking to have picked up some tips and tricks, and these are the ones I rely on most.

The most important thing is to prepare. You don’t have to write out your speech word by word but get the headline, three key points and the concluding sentence on paper and put bullet points under each. Then run through it and note which of your bullet points made it in and what you added. Adapt your notes and try again. Keep going until you have a structure.

Now it’s time to watch yourself—yes, get out your camera and film yourself. This is how you will see the points that need work and where you can polish it up.

Most of the information the audience will take away will be from your energy and your tone, a little from your words. Once you have sorted out the words, focus on how to exude(散发) the right energy—do you need confidence or humor? I go for confidence so, five minutes before a talk, I try to recall a success I’ve had. I focus on the details and aim to bring that feelings of competence to life.

Finally, breathe. We cannot speak without breath, yet it is the first thing we let go of when we are nervous. Settle your breathing before you start. If you lose control of your breath in the middle, say “Let’s take a moment to think about that last point.” That gives you a pause to collect your breath. The only way to get over a fear of public speaking is to do it, again and again. You will have good and bad experiences but, if you do it enough, you’ll realize that, occasionally, it’s fun.