As parents, we need to help children build toward future success by developing persistence. Persistence is what drives actions such as finishing a task, pushing through frustration, putting in time and effort, or finding creative approaches to a challenging problem. The ability to keep trying early in life is linked to all sorts of favorable outcomes years later.

There are three main strategies for encouraging persistence in your child.

The first is modeling what persistence looks like. Good modeling is more effective when planned and carried out with a specific goal (such as developing honesty, or, yes, persistence) in mind. Parents who noticeably struggle with something that are slightly difficult at home, but continue to pursue the activity anyway, and repeat that pattern over time, may naturally foster persistence in a child. It helps more if they sometimes comment: “Hmm, that did not work. Let me try another way.”

When you see your child doing this themselves and devoting special effort to a task, praise them right then and there. Praise even the smallest signs of effort. Quickly, clearly doing this will increase the child’s effort, which can, in turn, extend to other activities and situations they encounter in the future. In general, if you spot the child trying hard or harder than she usually does and working through tasks, praise them for what they are doing.

And if you do not see this happening, and your child is not doing something a bit difficult, you do not need to wait. You can provide opportunities for persistence. That is, try to combine modeling and praise: Do anything that involves some time and effort together. Then, set small and eventually larger goals. Depending on how it is going, have the child do more and more of the task while you keep him or her company. However, your chosen activity should be fun or, at least, a time free of reprimands or harsh corrections.

Some people are more naturally persistent than others. Repeated practice can teach children that the process is important—sometimes just as important as the goal.

It was Sunday. I had one last patient to see.

I approached her room in a hurry and stood at the doorway. She was an older woman, sitting on the edge of the bed, struggling to put socks on her swollen feet.

I crossed the threshold(门口), spoke quickly to the nurse, and scanned her chart, noting she was in stable condition. I was almost in the clear.

I leaned on the bed rail looking down at her. She asked if I could help put on her socks. I thought I had other priorities on the list. It’s my responsibility to arrange the issue. So instead, I launched into a monologue(独白)that went something like this: “How are you feeling? Your sugars and blood pressure were high but they’re better today. The nurse mentioned you’re anxious to see your son who’s visiting you today. It’s nice to have family visit from far away. I bet you really look forward to seeing him.”

She stopped me in a serious, authoritative voice. “Sit down, doctor. This is my story, not your story.”

I was surprised and embarrassed. I sat down. I helped her with the socks. She began to tell me that her only son lived around the corner from her, but she had not seen him in five years. She believed that the stress of this contributed greatly to her health problems. After hearing her story and putting on her socks, I asked if there was anything else I could do for her. She shook her head no and smiled. All she wanted me to do was to listen.

And, not long after, in an unexpected twist, I became the patient, with a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis at age 31. Now, 20 years later, I sit all the time --- in a wheelchair. For as long as I could, I continued to see patients from my chair.

I gradually realize the patients’ stories area bond between the teller and the listener.

When my condition affected my hands, I resigned and began to teach medical students.

Although Anderson started his business with strong passion, his business broke down just after several months, He didn’t start any new work ever since. His teacher got to know about that and called him to his home.

The teacher asked, “Why don’t you start some other work?”

Anderson replied. “I gave my everything to my business and yet it didn’t make it.”

The teacher tried to comfort him, saying “But that’s life. Sometimes we get success and sometimes we don’t. This doesn’t mean that we stop working.”

“What’s the significance of doing work, when I can’t be sure of success?” Anderson re-plied with a bit of annoyance.

The teacher took Anderson to a room and showed him a dead tomato plant. Confused. Anderson said, “It’s dead. Why are you showing it to me?”

The teacher replied, “When I sowed its seed, I did everything right for it. I watered it, fertilized it, sprayed it with pesticide (杀虫剂). I took great care of it but it still died.” He paused for a while and then continued. “Doing work is the same... No matter how hard you try, you cannot decide what happens in the end. However, you can control those things in your hands. Just do your best!”

Anderson asked, “But if there is no guarantee of success then what’s the use of doing anything?”

The teacher said. “You’d better not think like that...”

“What’s wrong with that... I have given so much hard work, so much money, so much times if success is only a matter of chance, then what is the use of doing so much?” said Anderson, being about to leave.

Just then the teacher stopped him and said, “Before you leave, I want to show you one more thing.”

Leading by the teacher, Anderson came to another room, opening the door.

It was at that very moment that Anderson read the lesson of success.