The evidence for harmony may not be obvious in some families. But it seems that four out of five young people now get on with their parents, which is the opposite of the popularly held image of unhappy teenagers locked in their room after endless family quarrels.

An important new study into teenage attitudes surprisingly shows that their family life is more harmonious than it has ever been in the past.” We were surprised by just how positive today’s young people seen to be about their families,” said one member of the research team. “They’re expected to be rebellious(叛逆的) and selfish but actually they have other things on their minds; they want a car and material goods, and they worry about whether school is serving them well. There’s more negotiation and discussion between parents and children, and children expect to take part in the family decision-making process. They don’t want to rock the boat.”

So it seems that this generation of parents is much more likely than parents of 30 years ago to treat their children as friends. “My parents are happy to discuss things with me and willing to listen to me,” says 17-years-old Daniel Lazall. “I always tell them when I’m going out clubbing. As long as they know what I’m doing, they’re fine with it.” Susan Crome, who is now 21,agrees.”Looking back on the last 10 years, there was a lot of what you could call negotiation. For example, as long as I’d done all my homework, I could go out on a Saturday night. But I think my grandparents were a lot stricter with my parents than that.”

Maybe this positive view of family life should not be unexpected. It is possible that the idea of teenagers’ rebellion is not rooted in real facts. A researcher comments, “Our surprise that teenagers say they get along well with their parents comes because of a brief period in our social history when teenagers were regarded as different beings. But that idea of rebelling and breaking away from their parents really only happened during that one time in the 1960s when everyone rebelled. The normal situation throughout history has been a smooth change from helping out with the family business to taking it over.”

When we’re in trouble, we always turn to our parents for help. But would you like them to hear the conversations you have with your friends on the school playground or lunch queue? Social networking sites have become extensions (延伸) of the school hallways, so would you add your parents as “friends” and allow them to view your online activities and conversations with friends?

In the past the generation gap included a technology gap, where children were up to date with the latest technology and parents were left behind, content to continue their day-to-day lives as they always had because they had no need to know more about technology. However, more and more parents are beginning to realize just how important social networks are in their lives. This realization has given many parents the motivation (动机) to educate themselves about social networking sites.

These days many people are attracted to social networking sites because they can choose who they have around them, there’s also a certain amount of control over privacy (隐私) that we don’t get in real life. Sometimes we feel that privacy is violated (违背) when we must accept a “friend” request from a parent or family member.

It’s a difficult choice whether or not to allow a parent to become a part of our online lives. On the one hand we don’t want to “refuse” their request because that might hurt their feelings or make them feel you have something to hide. On the other hand if you do accept, then you could have a sense of being watched and no longer feel free to comment or communicate the way you did before.

A recent survey suggested that parents shouldn’t take it personally if their children overlook (忽略) their requests. When a teenager overlooks a parent’s friend request, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he is hiding something, but it could mean that this is one part of his life where he wants to be independent.

Perhaps talking with parents and explaining would help soften the blow if you do choose not to add them to your friend list.

A national study led by a Michigan State University scholar finds that the courses students take have powerful effects on the friendships they form.

The findings, published in the American Journal of Sociology, indicate the patterns of course-taking are different in each high school. In one school, for example, friendships may form among students taking woodworking, Spanish or European history, while in another it may be among students taking agricultural business management, advanced accounting and calculus.

“ People generally think that kids are choosing their friends by joining groups such as the foothall club and that they do the same at every school,” said Kenneth Frank, professor in MSU’s College of Education. “But our argument is that the chances a teenager has to choose friends are guided by the courses the teenager take and the other students who take the courses with him. Moreover, the patterns of chances differ from school to school.” Students are more likely to make friends in small classes.

Friendships are more likely to be created in Latin and woodworking, for example, than in a large physical education class that is required of everyone in a particular grade. The findings mean a lot to school administrators as well.

“ Schools that simply offer classes without thought for mixing up high-and low-achieving students run the risk of driving them apart socially and academically,” said Frank. To prevent this, he suggested schools better stress the value of certain academic subjects, such as math, and also group students together so the low-achievers have high-achievers in their classes potentially as examples throughout high school.

“ This would give the students in the lower group encouragement or make others who could be there as a marker to help them move along.”