Every year Mother arranged family reunions. When the whole family travelled around and stayed together, she lit the candles and said, “It is wonderful to have you here. I want you to remember that you must be good to each other. You must take care of one another in times of need. Wherever I am, I’ll have my eye on you.” I believed her.

Mother died when she was 84. After the funeral, the four of us children made a promise to continue the tradition of the reunion. The next year my husband and I decided to arrange for our first reunion. I hoped the rest of the family would agree. Although we were close, we had our troubles. I was especially worried about my brother’s wife, Gina. She was on the sensitive side and after a misunderstanding, we never spoke again.

Then, to my surprise, Gina called. She and my brother would be arriving in New York a day early to attend a meeting. “Can you join us in the city for dinner?” she asked. I thought about all the last-minute errands (差事) I had to do and said, “I don’t have time.” Gina hung up. As usual, she had taken my refusal personally.

That night I couldn’t sleep. I thought of Mother’s speech: “You must be good to each other … You must take care of one another.” I called Gina first thing the next morning. “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to dinner,” I said. “I am really looking forward to seeing you.”

“Me too,” she admitted. It was a start.

The reunion turned out to be happy for everyone. Gina and I made up, and sat next to each other and talked a lot.

Parents with high expectations for their children are nothing new to Chinese kids. However, people often don’t realize that children also have expectations of their parents. 【小题1】

China Youth & Children Research Center did a survey in 2018 on this topic in the United States, Japan, South Korea and China. It showed that 83.8 percent of Chinese children want to be friends with their parents.

But the reality is different. 【小题2】 Respecting one’s elders and the concept of hierarchy are preventing parents from becoming friends with their children.

【小题3】. As children, what can you do to create a pleasant atmosphere at home and make friends with your parents?

Act like an adult.

If you want your parents to give you more freedom, you should show them that you’re ready to be treated differently. For example, learn to use self-control. Show them that you can manage your time well.

【小题4】

US psychologist Carl E. Pickhardt wrote in Psychology Today that sharing feelings with our parents can lead to positive changes, while not sharing them can cause misunderstandings.

【小题5】

Do something nice or helpful for your parents. For example, help them with some home chores, make them gifts or teach them some computer skills. Their trust in you will grow.

Page, my younger brother by four years, has been brain­damaged from birth. He does not speak, cannot hear and see poorly through his remaining eye. He stays home, staring at the television happily. But it wasn’t always this way.

On a lot summer morning, Mum had penciled “VISIT GRANDMA” for Page in large letters on a napkin before we left for the nursing home. No one expected to understand that this might be our last visit.

We arrived there and stepped into her room. The strokes had left grandma trembling and unresponsive. Her mouth hung open, and her wide eyes shut and opened quickly and stared but appeared not to see.

We stood round the bed, smiling uncomfortably, and saying that everything would be all right. For the first time, I was free to talk all I wanted. 【小题1】 “We love you, grandma,” I said finally, wondering if I was reaching her.

Page was standing quietly next to the window with his face brilliant red, tears following from his eyes. Just then, he pushed through the group and made his way to the bed. He leaned over Grandma’s withered body and took her cheeks gently in his hands. 【小题2】

Those of us with healthy ears were deaf to the volumes being spoken in that wonderful, wordless exchange.

【小题3】 How wrong I had been about Page. Far better than the rest of us, he knew the true meaning of our visit. He knew it perfectly because he grasped it not with his head but with his heart. He had the freedom, courage and honesty to reach out in pain to grandma. This was love.

We kissed Grandma, and slowly walked out of the room one by one. I was the last to leave. “Bye, Grandma,” I said. As I turned to look at her one last time, I noticed her lips come together, as if she was trying to speak. Somehow, if for a moment, she gathered the strength to say goodbye.【小题4】