When someone gives you advice, listen without judgment, try to find value in what you’re hearing, and say: “Thank you”. This wise advice is easy to understand yet hard to practice. I’ll give you an example from my life when I totally blew it in term of practicing what I teach.

In my work I travel constantly. I always put off going to the airport until the last second. My wife, Lyda, was sitting next to me in the front seat. I was racing along and not paying much attention. Lyda cried out: “Look out! There is a red light up ahead.”

Being a trained behavioral science professional—who teaches others the value of encouraging advice—I naturally screamed at her: “I know there is a red light up ahead! Don’t you think I can see?” When we arrived at the airport, Lyda didn’t speak to me. I wondered why she seemed mad at me.

During the flight to New York, I did a cost-benefit analysis. I asked myself: “What was the cost of just listening when Lyda called out the warning? Zero.” I then reasoned: “What was the potential benefit? What could have been saved?” Several potential benefits came to mind, including her life, my life, and the lives of other people.

I landed in New York feeling ashamed of myself. I immediately called Lyda and told her my cost-benefit story. I convinced her: “The next time you help me with my driving, I am just going to say, ‘Thank you!’”

A few months passed, and I had long forgotten the incident. Again, I was racing off to the airport, when Lyda cried out: “Look out for the red right!” I was embarrassed, and then shouted: “Thank you!”

I’m a long way from perfect, but I’m getting better. My suggestion is that you get in the habit of asking the important people in your life how you can do things better. And be ready for an answer. Some people may tell you things like “Look out for the red light.” When this happens, remember that there is possibly some potential benefit. Then just say: “Thank you.”

Once my mother told me a story. In Africa, when an antelope wakes up every morning, the first thing it thinks about is, “I must be able to run faster than the fastest lion, or I will be killed.” 【小题1】 The first thing the lion thinks about is, “I must be able to catch the slowest antelope, or I will starve to death.” So, almost at the same time, they get up and start running toward the rising sun.

This is life: full of chances and challenges. 【小题2】 For students, it is just the same. If we do not study hard, sooner or later, we will fall behind the other students. At first, I did not know what the word “exam” meant. Later, I knew an exam was a kind of competition. In competitions, there are always winners and losers. As I grew up, I got to know competition well. 【小题3】

Each time I saw children playing games, and heard their laughter, I wished I were that age again. 【小题4】 So I picked up my pen and began to study hard again.

I was still not sure what competition really meant. One day, I was taking part in an English-speaking competition. When I went to the stage, I saw other students looking at me kindly. 【小题5】It is not as cruel as my teacher and parents told me. In fact, competition is the opposite: it is kind and necessary.