When someone you care about has suffered a serious health event or is dealing with a life-threatening illness, it can be difficult to know what to say or do. 【小题1】 How can you best offer your support? These tips can help:

Offer your support. Your friend or loved one may be unwilling to ask for help, but it’s support from people like you that can make all the difference in their recovery. Offer to help with a specific task, even if it’s simply to sit with them during or after treatment. 【小题2】

Listen. When you talk to someone with a serious illness, it’s natural to feel awkward or not know what to say. 【小题3】 Allow them to express what they’re going through without judging them.

【小题4】 The more you know about your loved one’s diagnosis (诊断) and treatment, the better prepared you’ll be to help. But that doesn’t mean you should tell the person what they should or shouldn’t do, unless they specifically ask for your opinion or want to know what you’ve researched. Treatment decisions are finally always up to your loved one, so be supportive even if you don’t always agree.

Stay connected. 【小题5】 You can’t just provide support at the time of diagnosis and then let your attention go. Your support can be just as important after treatment as it is before.

“Quick, quick, slow, slow,” my husband said as I was trying to focus. We frequently stepped on each other’s feet. Both of us were being rhythmically challenged, and we figured a series of lessons might help us look somewhat elegant on the floor. However, it didn’t.

It didn’t matter that the lessons didn’t pay off. Our learning something new together gave us a string of good memories, such as taking a Thai cooking class on a cold Chicago night and learning how to make classic cocktails (鸡尾酒) in a common bar. These experiences are my best memories from the past 10 years. We always have such a great time when we’re trying something new together. It seems to have strengthened our relationship, and makes me feel like we have a closer connection.

It turns out that my theory is backed by research. One study shows that learning new things with your spouse (配偶), friends, or partners, can strengthen your connection or friendship. But how exactly does this work? The key is vulnerability (弱点). “Learning new things together strengthens bonds because it is at those moments that we can show our vulnerability to one another,” says Dr. Hisla Bates. When we are learning a new task, misfortunes and failures are bound to happen. In those moments when we fail, the other party can be there in favor of us. We can work together to find a solution, and working together helps deepen the connection.

The benefits gained from learning new things with your partner can come from activities as small as hiking, trying a new recipe, going boating in the local lake or taking a fitness class together. You don’t have to go bungee jumping or skydiving to grow closer. Try selecting activities that both partners are unfamiliar with, as this will ensure you’re on the same page.

Trying to learn something new together once a month will benefit you and your spouse or friends. Overall, some of my best memories with my husband are the moments when we are learning something new together.

We always hold the view that high levels of intelligence are more the result of nature, rather than cultivation. But that’s just not the case. The truth is, people aren't born smart. People learn how to work with what they've got, and become smart as a result. 【小题1】

Smart people read a lot.

Sure, it's discouraging when you meet someone who can practically download books into their brain and remember every single piece of information. 【小题2】 For most people, reading has to be a practice and a habit. Smart people practice reading often. And just like anything else, with practice they get better and better over time.

Smart people hang around other smart people.

Most people hang around other people just like them. This can be both a good thing and a bad thing. 【小题3】 When you spend time with smart people, their drive, their knowledge, their awareness inherently influence you.

Smart people love making mistakes.

Smart people understand that “mistakes" don't really exist. 【小题4】 Because they show you what you need to learn next, refine, and improve upon in order to reach the next level. That's what the growth process really is.

【小题5】

Dumb people often say, “Oh, that's not relevant to me. I don't need to know that." Smart people always say, "That's interesting. I didn't know that. Tell me more." Knowledge, in itself is subjective. It's relative to your pursuits, your goals, your ambitions, and your current projects.

Smart people work (very, very) hard.

Rome is not built in one day. There is no doubt that hard work is the key to improvement and intelligence in general. It doesn't just happen.