One day a student was taking a walk with his teacher. As they went along, they saw a pair of old shoes lying in the path. They were a poor farmer’s, who was working in the nearby field.

The student turned to the teacher, saying: “We will hide his shoes, and hide ourselves behind those trees, and wait to see what he will do.”

“My young friend,” answered the teacher, “we should never make fun of the poor. Why not put a coin in each shoe, and then we will hide ourselves and watch?” The student did so and they both hid themselves behind the trees. The poor man soon finished his work, and came across the field to the path where he had left his coat and shoes.

After putting on his coat, he put his foot into one of his shoes, and felt something hard. Then he bent (弯腰) down to feel what it was, and found the coin. Surprised, he looked at the coin, turned it around and looked at it again. He then looked around, but no person was seen. He put the money into his pocket, and continued to put on the other shoe. His surprise was doubled on finding the other coin.

He couldn’t control his feelings and fell to his knees, looked up to the sky and expressed his thanks. Then he spoke of his wife, sick and helpless, and his children without bread. He said the help would save them from dying.

The student stood there deeply moved, and his eyes filled with tears. “Now,” said the teacher, “are you not much happier than if you had hidden the shoes?”

There’s a widely held belief that self-discipline means being able to do something when people don’t actually want to do it.【小题1】But this view of self-discipline is not right.

Containing one’s authenticity comes at a cost. 【小题2】There was a time when I lived very inauthentically. Instead of following my sincere desire to become a psychologist, I studied engineering. I neglected, my authentic self and tried to meet social expectations. I thought I was doing what I should do to succeed and be respected by society. 【小题3】And this loss of connection cost me dear, causing me to develop lots of health problems. So what does it really mean to be self-disciplined?

【小题4】Rather than trying to contain or control their genuine feelings, they try to understand them. Then they learn how to allow their authentic self to develop. And by doing so, they live lives of wholeness and happiness.

But how does someone become such a person in the first place? They follow their own interests and deal with the challenges that they personally feel called to manage. 【小题5】For them, self-control is never a problem. They move as one harmonious unit their perfect self works harmoniously with the authentic self to promote their growth.

So here’s the secret to self-discipline. Self-discipline is not about forcing yourself to meet social expectations, but following your own dream and allowing your authentic self to develop.

I remember, back in my early 20s, I was the youngest in the office while my workmates were at least twice my age. They had children and aging parents to take care of. My only stress was finding the right dress for a Saturday night date. I didn't imagine ever being their age.

But life has a way of racing ahead. In my 40s, when seeing my first gray hair, I couldn't stop staring at it. It took me a while to figure out what that thing was. As any parent will tell you, the easiest way to get gray hair is to have children.

Parenting is a hard job. I now know my husband and I have done a good job. Not only do our young adult sons like to spend time with us, but when we hand them cash, they often say, "No, thank you, I'm good."

When I celebrated my own 50th birthday, I didn't feel" old" or any different from how I had felt in my 40s or 30s, even 20s. Though society had given me the message that being 50 was not something to celebrate, I saw the benefits of getting older.

By the time I was 50, I no longer had to put everyone in front of me. I didn't have to take care of getting dinner on the table for a demanding child or help someone study the French and Indian War. Instead, I could see friends or travel with my husband.

Getting older also came with a new thinking way. I used to concentrate on things I regretted that I had or hadn't done. Now that I've lived many more years, those regrets have disappeared, because now I know that those choices have helped make me who I am today.

Whatever the age, I'll do what I want to. I am still a contributor to society, whether by writing novels or by being there for my friends and family. I plan to keep doing all of that for many years to come.