I used to believe that love meant putting everyone else and their needs first, before my own. While I do think there is some truth to that, in the sense that being a giving person is one of the ultimate acts of being a loving person, I came to realize that I must give to and love myself first and foremost.

Here's why. When you put everyone and everything else above you, you are no longer valuing yourself and your needs. And when you are not meeting your needs, and you don't take care of yourself （emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually）, you can't be the best version of yourself to the special people in your life. So in fact, you don't love them at your full potential!

Here are some things to consider. Are you physically taking care of yourself? Do you nourish yourself with the right foods? Do you get enough sleep and exercise? Are you at a healthy weight, and on top of your check-ups? If not, I bet your energy is low, you're tired and stressed, and your confidence isn't the highest （because you probably don't feel your best）. Now think about how much more you could give to others when you aren't exhausted, you're happy with what you see in the mirror, and you aren't on edge with stress.

Are you emotionally and mentally healthy? As humans, we're so complex and having ups and downs is normal. But in general, assess where you stand emotionally. If it's in a healthy place and you can manage your emotions in a healthy way - great! But if you self-soothe（自我安慰）in destructive ways and have a negative attitude and energy about you, realize that it's not just affecting you, but others too. When you aren't an emotionally and mentally healthy person, that energy pours into everything you do, and everyone you're around will feel the effects, too.

How's your spirituality? In this sense, spirituality is about having an ultimate purpose and being in tune with your true self. Do you wake up every day excited for what your life is about, and have gratitude for all the abundance you already have? If not, you may not be listening and living to what your heart truly desires. Living this way long term, may affect the essence（本质）of your inner being and, in turn, may not allow you to show up your very best for the world.

Be kind to yourself. It can be difficult to put your health and well-being first when life is demanding between your career, family, friendships, relationships, and so on. If you can think of any ways to improve your well-being and love yourself more, start today! Take a baby step towards this. Perhaps try getting an hour more of sleep. Move your body in a way that feels good. Take time for yourself to be with your thoughts and without distractions and feel that peace.

A．	B．
C．	D．

Since I learned that shoppers who do less research are happier with their purchases (购买的东西), I’ve been proud of my “good enough” method of shopping. Unlike my husband, who does weeks of research, looking at various choices, and weighing his preferences compared to costs, I always buy the first item I come across that fits my needs and price range.

According to Barry Schwartz, author of the book The Paradox of Choice, my method of shopping is called “satisficing,” while my husband engages in (参与) “maximizing.” Maximizers want the best and believe that there’s a perfect one of whatever they’re looking for. Satisficers, on the other hand, focus on what will be good enough to meet their minimum (最低的) standards.

I recently purchased a desk chair. I wanted one that offered more lumbar (腰部的) support, so I went to a store and picked out a chair that felt comfortable and was within my price range. I was happy with my purchase for six months, until the day I put just a little weight on the back of the chair, and it broke. Turned out that the chair’s back was made of particle board and it was just a matter of time before some weight broke the board. Now I have to buy a new one. It would have been less expensive if I’d researched various chairs, even if I’d ended up with a pricier chair.

While I am very much a satisficer, there are purchases that bring out the maximizer in me. One of them is blank notebooks. Recently I spent nearly two hours looking through the notebooks at a store to find the perfect one for a creative project. While I could use any notebook to take notes and draw pictures, the one I found fitted the project I had in mind.

While I’m always glad to be a satisficer, I admit my satisficing ways can sometimes prevent me from getting the satisfaction of finding exactly what I want. I know making sure that I raise my standards and get the enjoyment of finding the right choice for me will help me to enjoy the best of both worlds.