I was fifteen months old, a happy carefree kid until the day fell. It was a bad fall. I landed on a glass rabbit which cut my eye badly enough to blind it. Trying to save the eye, the doctors stitched the eyeball together where it was cut, leaving a big ugly scar in the middle of my eye. The attempt failed, but my mama, in all of her wisdom, found a doctor who knew that if the eye were removed wholly, my face would grow up badly twisted, so my scarred, sightless, cloudy and gray eye lived on with me. And as I grew, this sightless eye in so many ways controlled me.

I walked with my face looking at the floor so people would not see the ugly me. Sometimes people, even strangers, asked me embarrassing questions or made hurtful remarks. When the kids played games, I was always the “monster”. I grew up imagining that people looked at me in an unusual way, as if my appearance were my fault. I always felt like I was a freak(怪人).

Yet mama would say to me, at every turn, “Hold your head up high and face the world.” It became a litany that I relied on. She had started when I was young. She would hold me in her arms and stroke my hair and say, “If you hold your head up high, it will be okay, and people will see your beautiful soul.” She continued this message whenever I wanted to hide. Those words have meant different things to me over the years. As a little child, I thought mama meant, “Be careful or you will fall down or bump into something because you are not looking.” As an adolescent, even though I tended to look down to hide my shame, I found that sometimes when I held my head up high and let people know me, they liked me. My mama’s words helped me begin to realize that by letting people look at my face, I let them recognize the intelligence and beauty behind both eyes even if they couldn’t see it on the surface.

In high school I was successful both academically and socially. I was even elected class president, but on the inside, I still felt like a freak. All I really wanted was to look like everyone else. When things got really bad, I would cry to my mama and she would look at me with loving eyes and say, “Hold your head up high and face the world. Let them see the beauty that is inside.”

When I met the man who became my partner for life, we looked each other straight in the eye, and he told me I was beautiful inside and out. He meant it. My mama’s love and encouragement were the spark that gave me the confidence to overcome my own doubt. I had faced adversity, encountered my problems head on, and learned not only to appreciate myself but to have deep compassion for others.

“Hold your head up high”, has been heard many times in my home. Each of my children has felt its invitation. The gift my mama gave me lives on in another generation.

It was June a few years ago, right around the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year. A few weeks earlier, the first fireflies (萤火虫) had appeared, blinking their lights on and off in the woods around my house. What a joy it was seeing them again. Their little flickers (闪烁) of light made me smile with delight.

As the daylight was starting to fade, I saw some neighborhood children attempting to catch the slow-moving lightning bugs outside my window. One of the girls went inside and came back with a clear glass jar. After chasing a few without success, she finally caught a firefly inside it. All the other children gathered around to watch it flickering its light on and off inside the jar. Soon, darkness started to fall, and the children’s Mom walked over to them and told them it was time to release the firefly. One of the girls refused but the Mom explained that the firefly would die if left in the jar. Then the girl said something that still stays in my heart to this day: It is time to let this little guy go so it can share its light with the rest of the world!

I remember when I was a child, we all sang, “This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine!” But as adults, we find it hard to do so. We dwell on the darkness too much and keep our light hidden in fear. Don’t hide your light. Don’t keep it in a jar. Share your flickers, no matter how small they may be. Let the love inside you out. Let the glow within you drive the darkness away.

Island of Feelings

Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all the others, including Love.

One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave.

Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment.

When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave.

She began looking for someone to ask for help. Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, ''Richness, can I come with you on your boat? ''

Richness answered, ''I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere. ''

Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing by in a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, ''Vanity, help me please! '' ''I can't help you, '' Vanity said, ''You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat. ''

Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, ''Sadness, please let me go with you. ''

Sadness answered, ''Love, I'm sorry, but, I just need to be alone now. ''

Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, ''Happiness, please take me with you. '' But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him.

Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, ''Come Love, I will take you with me. '' It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived on land the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder.

Love then found Knowledge and asked, ''Who was it that helped me? '' ''It was Time.'' Knowledge answered. ''But why did Time help me when no one else would? '' Love asked.

Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered, ''Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is. ''