“Quick, quick, slow, slow,” my husband said as I was trying to focus. We frequently stepped on each other’s feet. Both of us were being rhythmically challenged, and we figured a series of lessons might help us look somewhat elegant on the floor. However, it didn’t.

It didn’t matter that the lessons didn’t pay off. Our learning something new together gave us a string of good memories, such as taking a Thai cooking class on a cold Chicago night and learning how to make classic cocktails (鸡尾酒) in a common bar. These experiences are my best memories from the past 10 years. We always have such a great time when we’re trying something new together. It seems to have strengthened our relationship, and makes me feel like we have a closer connection.

It turns out that my theory is backed by research. One study shows that learning new things with your spouse (配偶), friends, or partners, can strengthen your connection or friendship. But how exactly does this work? The key is vulnerability (弱点). “Learning new things together strengthens bonds because it is at those moments that we can show our vulnerability to one another,” says Dr. Hisla Bates. When we are learning a new task, misfortunes and failures are bound to happen. In those moments when we fail, the other party can be there in favor of us. We can work together to find a solution, and working together helps deepen the connection.

The benefits gained from learning new things with your partner can come from activities as small as hiking, trying a new recipe, going boating in the local lake or taking a fitness class together. You don’t have to go bungee jumping or skydiving to grow closer. Try selecting activities that both partners are unfamiliar with, as this will ensure you’re on the same page.

Trying to learn something new together once a month will benefit you and your spouse or friends. Overall, some of my best memories with my husband are the moments when we are learning something new together.

Three Books for A More Honest View of Parent

Nowadays, it seems there are two ways to write about parenthood. I am heartily sick of both. This year I’ve decided to hug books that are inspiring and honest, yet do not avoid the pleasures of parenthood.

Life Among the Savages     Shirley Jackson       price: $15

Shirley Jackson, author of one of the most amazingly sinister novels of all time and of the short story The Lottery, also wrote two charming novels about raising her four children in an old farmhouse in rural Vermont. In Life Among the Savages, Jackson’s humor is as thrilling as her horror, and her children seem never to inspire in her anything worse than a fond exasperation (恼怒) .

A Blind Man Can See How Much I Love You       Amy Bloom       price: $13. 95

A Blind Man Can See How Much I Love You contains one of the most absolute expressions of a mother’s love in fiction. Much of it takes place in the waiting room of a gender-reassignment surgeon. It’s about a woman who is determined to be the mother that her child needs her to be. In this collection ordinary women rise to the occasion demanded by motherhood. They make mistakes but they generall succeed in making up for them.

Family Man     Calvin Trillin     price: $ 18

In his memoir (回忆录) Family Man, Calvin Trillin writes with humor about his wife and daughters. He gives what I think is the single most useful piece of parenting advice “Getting advice on the best way to bring up children is like getting advice on the best way to breathe sooner or later you’re probably going to forget it and go back to your regular old in-and-out.” Trillin gives the impression of being the best kind of husband.

Whether you’re a child, teenager, young adult or are middle-aged, respecting your parents is an important value. Your parents are the people who raise you, devoting time, energy and money to your development. 【小题1】 Whatever your age, there are 4 ways to show respect.

● Respect their belongings.

One important way to show respect is to show regard for the things important to your parents. For younger children, this may mean not touching jewelry or other valuable things. 【小题2】 Don’t take advantage of your parents’ kindness and generosity. And never borrow things without asking first.

● Punctuality.

【小题3】 Therefore, always be on time. For teenagers, showing up on time means coming home by curfew (宵禁). Adult children should show up on time for family dinners or events, or to pick a parent up for a medical appointment. Call if you’re going to be late because parents worry about children, whatever their age.

●【小题4】

Remembering birthdays, anniversaries and other special days is a sign that you honor your parents. Make plans to take them to lunch or dinner or bake a cake or cookies. Most parents don’t expect expensive gifts, but a handmade gift is always appreciated. a phone call from a grown child who lives too far for a visit is a welcome sign of respect.

● Be kind.

Kind words and affection are simple ways to show respect. Tell your parents you love them. Listen and allow your parents to speak without interruption. Show a sincere interest in what your parents have to say. Be patient with your parents and don’t rush them. Never talk back or be rude or disrespectful. Acknowledge your parents’ achievements. 【小题5】