I’m writing to you because I feel like we’ve grown distant lately. I know you have two little babies now that take up most of your attention, but I want to remind you that I’m your dog. My name is Max, and I am here long before those two troublemakers joined our family. The older one, Hannah, keeps trying to ride me. She knows I’m not a horse, right? Let’s remember that I’m 11 now. That’s 77 years old to you, friend. So how about showing me some respect I deserve?

Anyway, I’m still an official part of this family. I know I have made mistakes with food, but those kids are covered with so much food. It’s like an alcoholic living in a wine store. I have tried harder not to eat their food, but this business of forcing me to the backyard for most of the day was unacceptable.

And when you told your wife Kate that you wanted to drop me off in the valley to live with wolves, well, that hurt my self-respect. And did you have to do it right in front of me? I might be old, but I can still hear.

Remember the old days? By the time you came into the picture, I had already known Kate for three years. And then you came along. I knew she liked you so I welcomed you into our world. I remembered one night, she asked me if I thought you were the one. I barked “yes” repeatedly because I thought you would take great care of us. And you did.

Look, I know you’re a father of two now, but please try to include me a little bit more. That’s all I’m asking.

Sincerely yours,

Max the Puggle

When special occasions such as birthdays or other big holiday events come around, parents often look for that special toy for their children. But there is a growing understanding that gifts of time and bonding, such as vacations and other experiences, make better and more lasting gifts for children.

Experts agree that gifting children with memorable trips and fun experiences is better for their body and mind, and has corresponding positive impacts on the rest of the family!

In a 2017 study that surveyed about 500 women between 18 and 93 years old, Dr. Oravecz, a human development and family studies professor at Pennsylvania State University, asked, “Most people feel loved when...” The study showed that the most popular answers had nothing to do with any material item. Dr. Oravecz said, “Our research found that micro-moments of positivity, like a kind word, a hug with a child or a sympathetic expression, make people feel most loved.”

Clinical psychologist Oliver James agrees. He stated that as opposed to toys, details from a trip are more likely to “stick with them for long after the vacation ends.” When families interact in a stress-free environment, this creates warm, generous feelings towards one another, which are likely to be remembered with fondness. Vacations create strong emotional responses that don’t often come with material possessions.

In addition, British child psychologist Dr. Margot Sunderland believes that vacations make children smarter. “What is less widely known is that vacations can also advance brain development in children. This is because on a family vacation, you are exercising two genetically ingrained systems deep in the brain’s limbic (边缘的) area, which can all too easily be ‘unexercised’ in the home.” Citing the work of neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp, Dr. Sunderland said, “These are the PLAY system and the SEEKING system.” “The brain’s PLAY system is exercised every time you bury your child’s feet in the sand or take them for a ride on your back. The SEEKING system is exercised each time you go exploring together: the beach, a cave, a hidden village...” She continued, “So when you take your child on a vacation, you are supporting their explorative urge (SEEKING system)—a vital resource for living life well, and their capacity to play (PLAY system). In adulthood, this translates into the ability to play with ideas—essential, for example, to the successful entrepreneur(企业家).”

In a busy household, perhaps the fun of having the latest toy may not last, but the space it occupies in the house could be there and gather dust. So for the next round of gift-giving with the children, consider an experiential gift instead. The return is definitely priceless.

As a young man, AI was a skilled artist. He had a wife and two fine sons. One night,his oldest son developed a stomachache. Thinking it was only some common illness,neither AI nor his wife took the condition very seriously. But the illness became acute and the boy died suddenly that night.

Knowing the death could have been prevented if he had only realized the seriousness of the situation,AI’s emotional health was weakened under the effect of his guilt. To make matters worse,his wife left him a short time later, leaving him alone with his six­-year-old younger son. The hurt and pain of the two situations were more than AI could handle and he became an alcoholic (酒鬼).

As the alcoholism progressed, AI began to lose everything he had — his home, his land, his art objects, everything. Eventually AI died alone in a San Francisco motel room.

When I heard of AI’s death, I thought he was a loser because he ended his life with nothing material to show for it.

As time went by, I began to change my judgment. You see, I knew AI’s now adult son, Ernie. He is one of the kindest, most caring, most loving men I have ever known. I watched Ernie with his children and saw the free flow of love between them. I knew that kindness and caring had to come from somewhere.

One day, Ernie told me, “From my earliest memories as a child until I left home at 18, my dad came into my room every night, gave me a kiss and said,’I love you,son.’”

Tears came to my eyes as I realized what a fool I had been to judge AI as a failure. He had not left any material possessions behind. But he left love to his son,who became one of the finest,most giving men I have ever known.