Making Peace with Your Parents

As a teen, you’re going through big changes physically and mentally. Your interests are expanding. 【小题1】 Here is the challenge: Kids need to explore the world in new ways, and parents need to protect them from the dangers that are all out in that world. These conflicts can easily set off fireworks in otherwise calm houses. Sometimes conflicts can’t be avoided. But by paying attention to the building blocks of successful relationships, you can work towards making home a happy and healthy place for you and your parents.

For instance, try to find a time to talk when your parents are not angry, tired, distracted or hungry. A good time to talk is when you’re all relaxed. Timing is everything. If the conversation begins to turn into an argument, you’d better calmly and coolly ask to stop the conversation for now. 【小题2】 Listen to what your parents are saying, and repeat it back to them. This shows them that you’re listening. 【小题3】

Respect is the building block of good communication. People who respect each other and care about each other’s feelings can disagree without getting things ugly. 【小题4】 How do you build trust? Trust comes by actually doing what you say you’re going to do. Some teens find that doing fun activities with their parents can improve their relationships. Sometimes we forget that parents are more than rule makers-they’re interesting people who like to watch movies and go shopping — just like their teenagers!

What do you do if you are trying your best, but your relationship with your parents continues to be rocky? 【小题5】 You can find supportive adults, such as a teacher or a coach, who can lend an ear. Remember you can only change your own behavior. Your parents are the only ones who can change theirs.

Sharon Estill Taylor has no firsthand memories of her father. The World War II fighter pilot was shot down over Germany in April 1945, when Taylor was just three weeks old. When Taylor was young, her grandmother often shared stories about their fallen hero. “Nana, it’s OK,” Taylor assured her, “I’m going to find him and bring him home.”

Grandmother gave Taylor a silver box containing some 450 handwritten letters between her parents, spanning from their high school to the year 1945. Also included were six months’ worth of unopened letters. Taylor learned that on April 13, 1945, Estill had taken off to attack a railway station and destroy Nazi supply lines. She found a reference to a possible crash site near the town of Elsnig in eastern Germany.

With the collapse of the Berlin Wall, it became possible for Taylor to visit the potential crash site. She connected with German military historian Hans-Guenther Ploes, who agreed to help her try to find and identify any aircraft and human remains. In 2005, a team, accompanied by Ploes and Taylor, led a three-week unearthing. From the moment she set foot on the site, Taylor could feel that her dad was there. DNA analysis confirmed that the remains were his. On a sunny day, Taylor and her family buried her father’s remains at Arlington National Cemetery. Beyond fulfilling her promise to her grandmother, Taylor says her mission has been to get closer to her father and his legacy.

She has also come to realize that there’s an entire population of Americans who’ve lost parents and loved ones in military conflicts overseas and wish they knew more. Taylor shares her story widely, raising awareness of soldiers who never return from war and the significance of recovery efforts. An estimated 81,000 American service members’ bodies remain unaccounted for from past conflicts, but fortunately there are constant efforts to locate the fallen and bring relief to their families.

Taylor will never know exactly what her father’s final moments were like but she feels, in a way, that father has finally come home.

I sat here at that same desk and stared at the computer. I waited patiently for ideas to come to me, thinking about exam questions for a school test I would give to my English students tomorrow. My wife was off to a reunion somewhere, but I wasn't alone. Our two children kept me company. Ten-month-old Edward spent most of his day looking at some cards and other different pieces of paper. But Meghan was different from her younger brother.

She followed a daily routine that needed much time and was difficult. It included certain basic tasks: watching the fish, sweeping the carpet in her room, sitting for a few minutes on the bottom shelf of the bookcase to determine whether she still fitted there, checking regularly on Edward or jumping on the sofa.

I could do my own work fairly well during most of these chores. Unfortunately, I had not counted on the “Bib-bibs, bib-bibs”. “Bib-bibs, bib-bibs” shrieked Meghan, and her eyes were alive with expectation. She insisted that I go with her to the window. “No, Meghan,” I answered irritably. “Not now. Go away and leave me alone.”

She left without any attempt to bother me. I could finish the test easily without interference. However, I saw her standing quietly with tears running down her cheeks. She had two fingers of her right hand in her mouth and watched me type. She caught sight of the birds from time to time.

At this moment, only for a moment, I saw a little girl crying because I didn't have time for her, realizing somehow it was the sitting next to each other that meant everything. I put away the blank paper and stood up.