When you are a kid, gaining a best friend forever can happen in a single play date. But when you grow up to be an adult, making and maintaining friendships gets harder. So how much quality time (优质时光) do you need before that stranger becomes your friend? A new study recently found that, on average, it takes about 50 hours with someone before you consider them a casual (感情不深的) friend, about 90 hours before you become real friends, and about 200 hours to become close friends.

The study’s author Jeffrey Hall, a communications professor, invited adults who are eager to make friends to take part in two experiments — people who had just moved to a new city in the past six months and college freshmen. He asked them to rate and track the degree of closeness and time spent together with a new person. “Results suggest that the chance of changing from casual friend to real friend is greater than 50% after around 80-100 hours together,” said Hall.

The study found that the amount of time spent talking together, or the fact that you spent time at school or work with them, was unrelated to friendship closeness. “It is really easy to spend a lot of time with people as they are routinely in the same place at the same time as you,” Hall said. “However, my study shows you can have workmates you spend hundreds and hundreds of hours with and still not develop a friendship.”

You do not need to become best friends with your workmates to develop meaningful relationships with them. But for those of us hoping to change from “girl who I eat lunch at work with” to “friend I can depend on,” Hall suggests that you need to take the relationship out of the workplace for it to become a friendship. The participants who did activities outside of work with someone, such as being invited to have lunch in their home, were more likely to develop deeper relationships with them.

In an online class, developing healthy patterns of communication with professors is very important. 【小题1】 While I have only listed two of each, there are obviously many other situations that can arise. Students should be able to extend the logic(逻辑) of each to their particular circumstance.

Do’s

• 【小题2】 Questions about subject content are generally welcomed. Before asking questions about the course design, read the syllabus(教学大纲) and learning management system information to be sure the answer isn’t hiding in plain sight.

• Participate in discussion forums(论坛), blogs and other open-ended forums for dialogue. 【小题3】 Be sure to stay on topic and not offer irrelevant information. Make a point, and make it safe for others to do the same.

Don’ts

• Don’t share personal information or stories. Professors are not trained nurses, financial aid experts or your best friends. If you are in need of a deadline extension, simply explain the situation to the professor. 【小题4】

• Don’t openly express annoyance at a professor or class. 【小题5】 When a student attacks a professor on the social media, the language used actually says more about the student. If there is truly a concern about a professor’s professionalism or ability, be sure to use online course evaluations to calmly offer your comments.

Four simple steps to be truly thankful

Thanksgiving is more than pie and turkey. It’s about helping and loving the family, friends and world around you. The following tips will help you show your thankfulness.

1. Family

A lot can happen in a year. Your family may have added some loved ones and lost some at the same time. 【小题1】, and let your family know how important they are to you and how glad you are that you all could get together.

2. Friends

Do what you always do — throw a party. In college, Chicago natives Heather and Nosheen threw a dinner party for their friends on Thanksgiving and came up with HANTDE: Heather and Nosheen’s Thanksgiving Day Extravaganza. 【小题2】.

“HANDTE is a reunion time that we all look forward to every year,” Heather says. “【小题3】, so HANTDE has become a time to see and be with each other.”

3. Community (社区)

You could volunteer at a local soup kitchen or bring unused items to a food bank. 【小题4】. This year, Heather and Nosheen are asking their HANTDE guests to offer a donation, which they will donate to help low-income families.

4. Self

【小题5】, for example, the debts you paid off or the friends you’ve made. Being able to give thanks for yourself and what you’ve done is the first step to being able to show thankfulness to others.