Stress isn’t just a state of mind. It’s something that can create disorder in your body. Experts say poor physical health can often signal poor mental health. Research shows stress affects the nervous system and can even cause structural (结构的) changes in the brain, which can change how we think and change our memory. Stress can also weaken our immune (免疫的) system, making us ill more easily.

How do you check your body for stress? Kennedy, director of psychology at Driftwood Recovery Center in Texas, said sometimes it’s easier for someone to focus on physical symptoms (症状) than to identify what they’re feeling emotionally. That’s why she advises her patients to perform a daily body check. “We’re not going to be aware of how we’re feeling or how we’re starting to have a little more muscle tension,” Kennedy said.

To check in, you need to slow down. “Check in with each muscle group, from your feet to your head,” she said. “You can notice things like, ‘Oh, I’m having a headache,’ or ‘maybe I’m having some fatigue, which makes me want to sleep.’”

Kennedy said, while stress may not feel good, our body’s responses to it are likely to be a good thing in the end if we can make full use of these signals. She also notes that one of the things that can be most healing (治愈的) to a body is connection to another person.“There’s neurochemicals (神经化学物质) that actually get produced in our brains when we’re connecting with others in a meaningful way,” she said. “Relationships and connection with others are key.”

A colleague of mine recently told me about a painful exposed nerve in his tooth. Rather than requesting a numbing option from his dentist, he used a "focus in" meditation (冥想) technique to direct all his attention to his mouth with as much calming equanimity (平和) as he could gather. Doing so transformed the pain for a few minutes. Each time the dentist touched the tooth, my colleague felt waves of joy, and this feeling lasted until the dentist interrupted by asking, "Why are you smiling?"

A fair question is why anyone would want to be fully aware of intensely negative or painful experiences. But what might sound like a punishing choice—to embrace suffering or pain—may in some instances be helpful. A stream of scientific articles suggests that there are benefits in turning toward discomfort or upsetting emotions with acceptance. It's important to first define the idea of turning toward discomfort. I'm not advocating for people to put themselves in dangerous or painful positions. But when we push ourselves into challenging situations, much like trainers who push athletes just past their comfort zone to make gains, learning often happens. "Equanimity" refers to a mental attitude of being at peace with the push and pull of experience.

To evaluate the effectiveness of such interventions (干预), we recruited 153 stressed adults in Pittsburgh and offered them a mindfulness-meditation training program with or without training in equanimity. For example, the mindfulness-only group built skills to recognize ongoing experiences, while the equanimity group practiced acceptance of those experiences in addition to the basic recognition. Our equanimity training group had much better outcomes on several measures. After just 14 days of training, the participants who learned equanimity skills had significantly lower biological stress responses when asked to deliver a difficult speech and solve math problems in front of experts in white lab coats. The equanimity skills group also had lower blood pressure and stress levels.

Whenever we see a button, we want to press it because we know that something will happen. This is true in most cases, for example, on a doorbell. But some buttons are actually fake (假的), like the “close” button on a lift.

Many people are in the habit of pressing the “close” button because they don’t have the patience to wait. But lifts’ “close” buttons are a complete trick, at least in the U. S.—the doors will not close any faster no matter how hard you press.

It started in the 1990s when the Americans with Disabilities Act was passed in the U.S., making sure that all lifts stayed open long enough so that people with disabilities could enter safely. Only repair workers can use the buttons to speed up the door closing process if they have special keys.

But to normal lift riders, the buttons aren’t completely useless. According to psychologists, fake buttons can actually make you feel better by offering you a sense of control.

“A sense of control is very important. It reduces stress and increases well­being,” said Ellen J. Langer, a psychology professor at Harvard University. Experts also added that a lot of buttons that don’t do anything exist in our lives for this same purpose.

For example, pedestrian crosswalk buttons don’t live up to their names either. Pressing them used to help make the traffic signals change faster, but that was before computer­controlled traffic signals were introduced.

But psychologists found it interesting that even when people are aware of these little “white lies”, they still continue to push fake buttons because as long as the doors eventually close, it is considered to be worth the effort.