When I started Social-Engineer, I just left a company that was amazing. It was like a family. The pain of leaving was real for me and like all family separation, it wasn’t 100% smooth. I was heartbroken to leave but wanted to take every lesson I learned to my new company. I was determined to also take all the good memories with me. Yes, there were mistakes from both sides of the fence but instead of focusing on those, I went away remembering all the great times, life lessons and growth I had gifted to me.

I figured I would grow my company by being a nice man and working hard, and never demanding more from my people than I was willing to give, believing this approach would earn respect and effort in return. I would say things to myself like, “Well, I did this, so they should do that.” Or “I am this way, so they should be that way.”

And to be honest, it felt real. It felt like it was an honest evaluation.

But... But... But...

I started to have people problems. I am a very strong, direct communicator and although in many ways that is a strength, it can be a weakness in other ways. I often hurt people’s feelings. Even though I was very self-aware of this, I still messed up. Now this is odd to admit out loud for a company that basically focuses on helping dozens of companies make huge changes.

I went to see a psychologist. Natasha actively listened to all I said and then every now and then presented a thought as a question or a mild statement. She wanted to challenge me to change, challenge me to expand my thoughts. I was in my session with Natasha and I was saying things like this:

“I gave this person tens of thousands of dollars in a raise in one year, they should be more appreciative.”

“I have a great salary, benefits and support package, this person should have been more thankful.”

Natasha stopped me and said, “Well, you just SHOULD all over yourself, didn’t you? Did you pay for devotion? Did you pay for honor? Did you pay for appreciation?”

The sad answer was NO.

“You want to see the change that you so desire — then be the change,” Natasha said. She then mentioned Bruce Lee, who said “Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle... Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”

I know what I should do. Will you join me?

What do butterflies have in common with the human spirit? Meet Maggie, a middle-aged wife and mother who was about to find out.

Maggie wasn’t rich like a millionaire or poor in a manner of being homeless. She was living an average comfortable life. It was made even better when a baby girl came her way. She and her husband made sure their daughter had her needs met and they were still able to take a yearly vacation by the beach.

Maggie was a partner in her husband’s business. They both had a different set of duties and everything was in balance. One day a severe blow came to her husband’s business, and over a three-year period the business dropped out of sight. Her husband had to totally reinvent himself and was eager to start a new business. She was happy for him and supported him fully, but still the money was not coming in.

Maggie began to feel guilty that she wasn’t contributing with any kind of income. She began job-hunting and found filling out applications somewhat difficult, especially the part asking for job references. She was self-employed with her husband for almost 20 years, which seemed to mean nothing as she was never called for an interview.

When she was job-hunting her mom became more ill than she had been and ended up in the hospital for a week. Once Maggie’s mom returned home she became her mom’s helper one day a week. She did everything that her mother was not able to do any more. Of course her mom would pay her for her lime and labor but she still felt she needed to find another source of income.

One of the first applications she had filled out finally came through. She passed the interview and was told she was exactly what they were looking for. Although it was only part-time it was exactly what she wanted. It was important for her to be home when her daughter arrived home from school.

Within a few weeks, though, she received an e-mail saying that the company had changed the job into a full-time position so that she was not qualified. Maggie felt betrayed and felt she had been lied to. That evening she was alone at home. She welcomed the aloneness and wanted to put herself in the bathtub to kill the lonely time.

As she knew she would, Maggie began to cry, softly at first just from the sharp pain of being rejected. Three long years of struggle had finally overwhelmed her.

When she was able to cry no more, she became worn out and gave up. It was at that moment that a silent idea came to her: why not offer elderly people home care assistance? Using another talent for computers she printed off some flyers and cards and distributed them to her church, grocery stores and even placed a small ad in the newspaper. Within a week she had procured two new customers. Now, even though she’s not a CEO of a major company she feels happy and productive again.

Before a butterfly can come out of its chrysalis (茧) it has to go through a lot of struggling. Each time it pushes out to escape, acids are being removed from its wings. If someone were to come along and break the chrysalis open for it then the butterfly would die from those acids. Actually the struggle is necessary for the butterfly to survive. Then in the stillness, when the struggle is over, the butterfly can come out and share its beauty with the world.

We as humans are not any different.

"How do you account for your remarkable accomplishment in Queen Victoria of the UK asked Helen Keller. "How do you explain the fact that even though you were both blind and deaf you were able to accomplish so much?"

Ms. Keller's answer is a tribute (致敬) to her dedicated teacher. "If it had not been for Anne Sullivan, the name of Helen Keller would have remained unknown.”

According to speaker Zig Ziglar, "Little Annie" Sullivan, as she was called when she was young, was no stranger to hardship. She was almost sightless herself and was, at one time, diagnosed as hopelessly "insane" by her caregivers. She was locked in the basement of a mental institution outside of Boston. On occasion, Little Annie would violently attack anyone who came near. Most of the time she generally ignored everyone in her presence.

An elderly nurse believed there was hope, however, and she made it her mission to show love to the child. Every day she visited Little Annie. For the most part, the child did not acknowledge the nursed presence, but she still continued to visit. The kind woman left cookies for her and spoke words of love and encouragement. She believed Little Annie could recover, if only she were shown love.

Eventually, doctors noticed the change in the girl. Where they once witnessed anger and hatred, they now noted a gentleness and love. They moved her upstairs where she continued to improve. Then the day finally came when this seemingly "hopeless'' child was released.

Anne Sullivan grew into a young woman with a desire to help others as she herself was helped by the kind nurse. It was she who saw the great potential in Helen Keller. She loved her, disciplined her, played with her, pushed her and worked with her until the flickering candle that was her life became a beacon of light to the world. Anne Sullivan worked wonders in Helen's life; but it was a loving nurse who first believed in Little Annie and lovingly transformed an uncommunicative child into a compassionate teacher.

“If it had not been for Anne Sullivan, the name of Helen Keller would have remained unknown." But if it had not been for a kind and dedicated nurse, the name of Anne Sullivan would have remained unknown.