Feel Like You’re Falling Behind Your Peers?

It’s never pleasant to lag behind others that we consider similar to ourselves. The conventional wisdom says to “stop competing with others and only compete with yourself”. But that’s easier said than done. With the rise of social media, it’s hard to avoid _______ of your colleagues’ accomplishments if you want to stay connected. But in fact that knowledge can have benefits. A recent study shows that it can become a source of _______ in both one’s work and life.

So how can you take advantage of the positive benefits of competition without suffering from the insecurity it may _______?

Track your triggers.

The stress of feeling behind your peers can emerge in many _______ throughout the day. It might be hearing your boss compliment another colleague, or watching your colleagues leave their 9-5 job to build businesses of their own.

It’s vital to pay attention to the things that tend to cause you to compare yourself with others, because if you are _______ that these are triggers, you can transform them into opportunities for a more productive response.

Shift to purposeful re-framing.

Once you _______ the situations that provoke these negative feelings in you, you may decide to quit any action that could cause you to feel insecure. But that’s rarely a(n) _______ or practical solution.

For instance, you probably can’t avoid hearing what your boss says about you or your colleagues. A better approach is to _______ engage those feelings to your benefit. Instead of saying to yourself, “I wish I did that,” ask yourself, “Why can’t I do that?” Then take some time to listen to what ideas emerge in your mind.

_______ a personal strength to regain validation (认可).

During the period of insecurity, you may start to consider how you can ________ others. Double down on your strengths and express them to the world.

An executive coaching client of mine was heartbroken that his planned promotion this year was postponed due to the pandemic. He worried that his future ________ for promotion to this position would slowly disappear.

To get out of his negative state, he decided to harness (利用) his writing talent. He ________ a thoughtful article for the company blog on how to effectively and positively lead others ________ the current crisis. Countless junior and senior colleagues expressed their gratitude for his honest and optimistic guidance. This feedback, ________, made him confident about his value.

Any efforts in your career and life will ________ bring self-comparison and insecurity. But whenever you feel like you are falling behind others, you can use these strategies to regain your confidence and perform well in the competitions that genuinely matter to you.

American author Gary Hopkins tells us, “A suitable apology can be a wonderful thing, so long as it is from the heart.” However, an apology is ______ to make.

A few years ago, I was a guest ______ at a conference for professional trainers. I was well ______, knowledgeable about the topic, and I felt confident as I ______ my speech. But afterwards, an experienced female delegate ______ me. We exchanged a few greetings, and then she dropped something unexpected on me. She said, “Do you know how many times you ______, from the moment you ______ to the microphone until the moment you left the stage?” “Sorry, I don’t know,” I replied. “Nine times,” she said. “And all of them were unnecessary.” I was ______. It was the first time someone had ever made me ______ my “sorry habit.” So what was the first word out of my mouth ______? “Sorry!” We both burst out laughing.

Of course, apologies shouldn’t be ______ that way. This incident raised my awareness of how we routinely use apologies. I know ______ to apologize is a big mistake as we’ve made a mistake or wronged someone else. How to do it? First and foremost, we need to understand real apologies or wholeheartedly saying “sorry” is ______. It’s like a big ______ into a relationship account and there’s no alternative for it. Actually, there are ______ apologies, which are tools of dodges (搪塞). They are awful and we should stop them. ______, habitual apologies are an unnecessary automatic response, as I ever made at the conference.

Generally, over apologizing ______ to happen when there’s a lack of ______ in your position, which will make others ______ you or even get unhappy. So we need to use apologies ______ and our attitude must be sincere. Refusing to apologize is a big mistake, and so is over apologizing.

According to the U.S. Department of Labor, the estimated cost of a poor performer can beat least 30% of the employee’s first-year expected earnings. That number comes as no _________ considering poor performers might make serious errors, not show up to work consistently, damage customer relationships with poor interactions, or waste their boss’s time.

But what if you haven’t done anything and are still being told you’re not meeting _________? Being labeled a poor performer can negatively impact your reputation within your company, your ability to continue to do your job, and yourself-confidence. Here are four measures to take if you think you’re being mislabeled.

It’s time to start advocating for yourself. If your boss says your performance isn’t up to the standard, be ready to _________ your performance by pointing to your successes.

Have a list of key initiatives you’ve been driving, including the most up-to-date progress you can think of. Also be ready to _________ projects you stepped into and problems you helped solve that your boss may not be aware of. Send these in an email after the conversation so your boss has a(n) _________ list of your wins.

Sharing the wins yourself is not enough--ask peers and other leaders to share your successes with your boss and _________ you. Be specific about your task, to ensure they share _________ of how you found the company’s cost-savings on a recent project or _________ a mission while your colleague was on leave. This is the time for_________ in the workplace to step into action.

Many employees have been expected to take on work outside their original job descriptions. If your boss isn’t aware of all of the __________ tasks you’ve taken on, this could be another reason you’re being mislabeled as a poor performer.

__________, make sure your job description is renewed to account for the additional responsibilities. This is critical to keeping up with your boss on goals and expectations that may have changed.

“Ask yourself: Do you want to continue to work for a boss who doesn’t believe you are meeting the requirements of your job and consistently doubts your abilities? Actually, the energy you are using to __________ your boss can leave you feeling exhausted, damaging your mental and physical health. __________, it could be spent finding another opportunity where you feel seen, valued, and are appreciated for your talents.

Great opportunities are out there waiting for you — don’t let one boss define your career path or what you’re meant to do next.