Conflict (冲突) between parents and children is normal. It is part of family life. But conflict that goes on for a long time and gets worse over time can cause stress and can hurt relationships. It is important to communicate with each other and bring conflict to a peaceful solution. You can do this through compromise (让步) or by agreeing to disagree. No matter what else you do, communicate with your children and make sure they know that you love them. This can make dealing with conflict easier and more effective.

In some cases, you may have to change your behaviour to settle a conflict with your child. Some of your child’s behaviour may be a reaction to your behaviour. So, if you want your child to behave in a certain way, one way may be to change your behaviour so that your child will follow your model.

But children should be responsible for their own actions — and the results. All parents want to protect their children. But in some cases, unless the child is in physical danger, it may be best to let the child deal with the negative results of things they do.

Collaborate (合作) to develop specific rules and write them down. These may include statements such as how much time they can spend on electronics, and when homework must be completed. Not only are you modeling for your kids how to work together and resolve differences, but you also are working out important guidelines for how your house will operate.

Have clear results for misconduct. Thus, if your child disobey the rules, make it clear that the right to use the toy will be taken away because of his inability to play with it responsibly. Additionally, create routines so that they know when they have free time to themselves after they have completed tasks set out for them. These could include helping feed the family pet, taking a shower, or finishing homework.

My 9-year-old son spends a lot of time on the computer surfing the Internet and sending instant messages to his friends. But I worry about him getting into trouble with strangers online.What can I do to protect him?

—Brian

Simple surfing and instant messaging with friends are common activities for kids—and generally safe, if you’ve discussed some rules of use with them. Chatting with strangers, however, may be a different story. Although there’s no way to know the actual risk,   the FBI (联邦调查局) warns that kids whose Internet activity isn’t monitored are most at the risk of being exploited (利用).

Keep the computer in a common room in the house rather than in your son’s bedroom. Take an interest in the sites your son is visiting and the people with whom he is chatting.Warn him never to give out his personal information (his phone number, name, address, school name, etc.), agree to meet in-person anyone he meets in a chat room,or share any photographs.

Urge your son to introduce you to any new “friends” he meets online and to tell you if he ever feels uncomfortable about conversations that take place. Most importantly, talk to him about the dangers of interacting with strangers online and remind him that people online often don’t tell the truth. The FBI also recommends that parents maintain access to young kids’ online accounts and often check their email.

Finally, you can use parental controls offered by your Internet service provider or through blocking and filtering (过滤) software.