Tears can ruin make-up, bring conversation to a stop, and give you a runny nose. 【小题1】However, crying is a fact of life, and tears are very useful. Even when you’re not crying, your eyes produce tears. These create a film (薄膜) over the eye’s surface. This film contains a substance that protects your eyes against infection.

Tears reduce stress, but we tend to fight them for all sorts of reasons. “【小题2】 They’re afraid that once they lose control, they’ll never get it back,” explains psychologist Dorothy Rowe.

Almost any emotion—good or bad, happy or sad—can cause tears. 【小题3】 Tears help you when you feel you are ready to explode because of very strong feelings. It may explain why people who are afraid to cry often suffer more heart attacks than people who cry more freely.

When some people become very stressed, however, they can’t cry. They may be feeling shock, anger, fear or grief, but they control the emotion. “Everyone has the need to cry,” says psychotherapist (精神治疗医师) Vera Diamond. 【小题4】 They practice crying so that they can get used to expressing emotion.

【小题5】 It’s good to hold back tears during a tense business discussion. “But once you are safely behind closed doors, don’t just cry,” Diamond says. She suggests that you act out the whole situation again and be as noisy and angry as you like. It will help you feel better. “And,” she adds, “once your tears have released the stress, you can begin to think of logical ways to deal with the problem.”

Tears are a sign of our ability to feel. You should never be afraid to cry.

Two of the saddest words in the English language are “if only”. I live my life with the goal of never having to say those words, because they convey regret, lost opportunities, mistakes, and disappointment.

My father is famous in our family for saying, “Take the extra minute to do it right.” I always try to live by the “extra minute” rule. When my children were young and likely to cause accidents, I always thought about what I could do to avoid an “if only” moment, whether it was something minor like moving a cup full of hot coffee away from the edge of a counter, or something that required a little more work such as taping padding (衬垫) onto the sharp corners of a glass coffee table.

I don’t only avoid those “if only” moments when it comes to safety. It’s equally important to avoid “if only” in our personal relationships. We all know people who lost a loved one and regretted that they had foregone an opportunity to say “I love you” or “I forgive you.” When my father announced he was going to the eye doctor across from my office on Good Friday, I told him that it was a holiday for my company and I wouldn’t be here. But then I thought about the fact that he’s 84 years old and I realized that I shouldn’t give up an opportunity to see him. I called him and told him I had decided to go to work on my day off after all

I know there will still be occasions when I have to say “if only” about something, but my life is definitely better because of my policy of doing everything possible to avoid that eventuality. And even though it takes an extra minute to do something right, or it occasionally takes an hour or two in my busy schedule to make a personal connection, I know that I’m doing the right thing. I’m buying myself peace of mind and that’s the best kind of insurance for my emotional well-being.

I have heard having a good sense of humour often helps in breaking the ice. Also people remember you because of your humour. But I think I don’t have a very good sense of humour. Could you suggest how to build on this?

—Radha Karnik

This is a great question that is unfortunately difficult to answer. I can only give you my views on this topic, which may or may not be correct. I know that my sense of humour developed over time.

When I was younger I was not funny at all; now I can easily make people laugh. At the same time, sometimes I say things that I think are very funny but others do not. Improving humour, I believe, is an ongoing process.

Now, there are various forms of humour and everyone has their own style. Overall, I believe being fluent in a language is very important for being funny. The way we play around with words adds the “funny” tag to a normal sentence.

Also, seeing irony(讽刺) is very important. I think humour is often the link between two unrelated things.

In my experience, laughing frequently and appreciating other people’s jokes are very important. Within these, finding humor in everyday normal situations is the key.

I often notice what is going on around me and say funny things in my head and laugh to myself. That serves almost as practice for when I am in a group. I watch comedy shows and movies and I am sure that has some effect on helping me improve my sense of humour.

And last, having confidence that you are funny is important. There will always be someone funnier than you, which is fine. Just work on building your own style.

Remember, if you are trying to be funny in order to break the ice at a business function, be careful.

In those situations, humour has to be mild and politically correct.

Yours,

Brad