Perhaps the most quarrelsome issue between fathers and sons is the question of work and how to be successful in the real world. Right from the beginning, I thought I should start at the top. I was a talented young man and I thought everyone around me should realize this. With growing pride, I did not believe that I should have to pay my dues like other people. As a result, I constantly tried to find a short cut to the big time.

My father is a good example of the American dream coming to life, a self-made man who achieved success through hard work. Focusing on the promise of college, Dad won a scholarship to Brown University. Digging into his studies while forming a group of close friends, he achieved a lot at Brown. As the years passed and children were born, Dad worked with an unchanging dream, becoming a respected partner of the firm and the head of the sales team. He worked hard, but was also creative, and eventually became a famous expert in raising capital when others failed.

In contrast to my father’s hard-earned success, I grew up as a privileged Upper East Side New Yorker who expected everything to be handed to him. I went to Brown where I majored in literary theory, and partied until the morning. After college, I headed out to Los Angeles where I fed into the dream of selling a big screenplay (剧本). Although my partying became habitual and out of control, I always thought the next big script sale would change everything.

Seeing my attitude, my father told me that there were no short cuts. I never listened. Eventually, I lost my house and my marriage. Never listening to the sound advice of my father and insisting on following my own path toward self-destruction, I ended up in a terrible place.

My father, however, never gave up on me and has been remarkably supportive to me. With the faith of my family and the support of my father, I have been able to pay my dues and launch my career as a technical writer. Like my father tried to teach me, there are no short cuts.

No matter how talented or fortunate you may be, success is the product of sweat in the form of hard work—showing up each day and doing your job to the best of your abilities.

There is a country — I read about it once — where the local custom is that if you go to a house and praise some small possession, the owners feel obliged to offer it to you as a gift. The only other place I know of with such a custom is my mother’s apartment.

Knowing Mama, I have always been careful with my compliments, but that doesn’t stop her. If she catches me staring at anything small enough to put in a grocery bag, she hands it to me as I leave. It would do no good to protest. “I was merely staring at that photograph of Mount Hood because I have one exactly like it in my living room.” Mama would only nod and say, “Of course. You were thinking how nice it would be to have a set. If a mother doesn’t understand, who does?”

As far as I can remember, Mama was telling people they were in the wrong line of work and suggesting alternative careers. My turn came when I grew up and became a housewife. “You missed your calling,” Mama sighs, examining the doodles (涂鸦) on my phone book. “You should have been an artist.” Later, I tell her how I returned rancid fish to the supermarket and demanded a refund, and she links this to lawyer. I know it’s horsefathers, but I like it.

I have been worrying for weeks now about what to give my mother for Mother’s Day. There is always the danger that a gift given to Mama will bounce swiftly back to the giver. If I buy her something wearable, she perceives in an instant that it could be let in here, let out there, and it would fit me perfectly. If I give her a plant, she cuts off the top for me to take home and root in a glass of water. If I give her something edible, she wants me to stay for lunch and cat it.

Papa, a sensible man, long ago stopped trying to shop for Mama. Instead, on Mother’s Day, her birthday, and other appropriate occasions, he composes a short poem in which he tells of their life. After nearly 30 years of poems, Papa sometimes worries that the edge of his inspiration has dulled, but Mama doesn’t complain. She comes into the room while he is struggling over a gift poem and says, “It doesn’t have to rhyme (押韵) as long as it’s from the heart.”

This year, finally, I think, too, have found a painless gift for Mama. I am going to give her a magazine article, in which I wish her “Happy Mother’s Day” and tell her there’s nothing Papa or I could ever buy, find, or make her that would be half good enough anyway.

When you sleep somewhere else — like at summer camp or a friend’s house — you know you’re in for a fun time. It can be exciting to get away from the same old bed in the same old room in the same old house. But fun as this is, for some kids being away from home can be scary and sad. They want to go and have fun with their friends, but once they’re there, they start to miss their good old bed, their good old parents, and all that everyday stuff at home. It’s called being homesick (想家的).

Homesick means you’re upset, sad, and maybe scared. But don’t feel surprised. A lot of people get homesick, even grown-ups. When you’re used to having certain people and things around you, it can be scary when they’re gone. When you’re dealing with other problems, you will feel homesick, too. Some kids may feel more homesick than usual if their parents are getting divorced or if someone they loved has recently died.

Here are some ideas to help you feel less homesick.

Bring a little bit of home with you. If you’re going away from home, bring your pillow or pictures of the people you’ll be apart from and look at them any time you want.

Keep busy. The more fun stuff you do, the less time you’ll have to feel homesick. Try to join in activities wherever you are.

Stay in touch. You can make a plan for when you’ll call your mom or dad. You can also email or text message to stay in touch with family and friends. When you do get in touch with someone, make sure to talk about the fun things you’re doing!

Talk to someone where you are. Maybe you can tell a friend that you feel homesick. He or she might have some ideas to help you feel better.