If you have some free time to socialize, do you prefer to spend it with your best friend or partner, or with a larger group of people?

A new study investigated what group size people actually look for and encounter in everyday life. The scientists asked more than 4, 000 people from the U. S. and the Netherlands to report the size of their social groups for a wide variety of activities. For eight different activities (going to a bar, chatting at work, chatting off work, having dinner, going on a holiday, going to a movie theatre, working on a project, playing sports), people reported a group size of two more often than they reported larger group sizes. Interestingly, for about half of these activities, women reported a group size of two significantly more often than men did, suggesting that women prefer a social group size of two even more than men do.

The researchers also used a research technique called real—time experience—sampling in the second part of the study. 274 volunteers were asked seven times a day to report the last social situation they had experienced. The results were clear. Two was the most common group size with 52. 6 percent. Thus, this part of the study also suggested that two is the most common group size in social interactions.

So why do people prefer spending their time with one other person compared to spending their time with larger groups? Researchers explained that in general, social interactions with just one other person allow for more control of the situation, especially when it comes to reciprocity ( 互助). When we interact with just one other person, one's choices directly affect the other person and only that person. Thus, it is easy to distinguish whether there is mutual cooperation (for example, both people take turns paying for dinner) or whether someone acts selfishly (for example, one person never pays the bill). In larger groups, the situation gets much more complicated.

Many people have secrets or things about themselves they don’t want others to know. Those secrets can be something as simple as they have a new job or serious matters such as a divorce. 【小题1】. But if you want someone to open up to you, building trust and showing that you can keep secrets may get them to tell you the secret.

【小题2】.

Have conversations with others that cover a range of meaningful topics. Talking about meaningful things to others can help them consciously connect positive feelings about you and make them more likely to open up to you.

Listen carefully

【小题3】. Refer to what they’ve said when you talk at other time, which shows that you are paying close attention to them and their needs. Besides, ask questions during the conversation, which can show that you’re listening closely to what they are saying.

Talk about yourself

Make sure to talk about yourself during your conversations. 【小题4】. In turn, it will put them at ease and show that they can confide (倾诉) in and trust you. Sharing can really help establish a relationship of trust between people, especially if both individuals are comfortable to talk about themselves.

Be reliable

Make sure to be there and fulfil promises with your friends. This shows them that they can rely on you, including telling and keeping secrets. Follow up on any commitment you make to the best of your ability. 【小题5】.

We’re directly affected by our environment. When the rising temperature or the bitter cold is the first thing on your mind, it might be hard to discuss anything else. However, as a matter of fact, you needn’t have worried so much about this. 【小题1】 However, there are ways to change the activity into a meaningful moment between two people.

1. 【小题2】

Talking about shared interests is the easiest way to make a connection with someone-and more personal talking about the weather. When you start a conversation with someone, try searching for pieces of information that you can connect to.

2. Don’t ask someone what they do.

When speaking with someone for the first time, work is always one of our topics. But wanting to know what someone does for a living may kill our conversations. 【小题3】 When it comes to small talk, try avoiding jobs and discovering general interests instead.

3. Enjoy the silence.

No one likes a long stop-but most silent moments between topics aren’t as long as you think they are. 【小题4】 Sometimes stops are needed in order to continue a conversation. Remember that if you say something, the other person may need to think about it, so enjoy the silence.

4. Look at your conversation as a learning experience.

Different people have different thoughts, ideas and feelings. Ask someone about a topic they’ re familiar with that you know nothing about. Every time you meet someone new — or even speak with someone you know — it’s an opportunity to learn something. 【小题5】 You can expand your knowledge of other areas, cultures and nations.