How do you know if your mother likes you or not? That is a question I have been struggling with a lot lately. My mother and I used to talk on the phone a few times a day. I saw her at least twice a week. Now she doesn’t answer when I call, and never calls me back. She doesn’t see me and then complains that I don’t see her enough.

It all started a few months ago, I started having a date with a man, and we became serious quickly. This is not the first boyfriend I have had. I know she isn’t mad at me for my finding love. The turn-in events happened when I moved from about 15 minutes away from my mom to 1.5 hours away from her. She encouraged it, she seemed happy, and she helped me pack. Since then, everything has changed.

I can’t tell if she cares about me and I don’t know if she is bitter. When I call her, she says she is busy and will call me back. Then the problem is that she never calls me back, I make plans with her, but she cancels. Then when I do see her, she gives me comments like “It’s been a while since you came to see me”. It seems like I haven’t tried. It’s very frustrating.

I don’t know what is wrong, and she won’t talk to me, so I can’t find out. Does anyone have any advice for what to do in a situation like this? Part of me wants to cry and stop trying. But not talking to her tears me apart. Please give me some advice below.

Our words have the ability to build our loved ones up and guide our communication in the right direction. 【小题1】 Here are several positive family communication rules you can follow in your home to avoid the negative results and build loving relationships.

【小题2】 Take the time to think about what you want to say before you say it. Make sure your words, tone(语气)and body language can show what you mean.

Tell the truth gently(和缓地). It might feel like the right thing to hide the truth to avoid hurting your loved ones, but being dishonest breaks trust. 【小题3】 Being extremely honest hurts feelings, but gentle truth builds intimacy(亲密).

Respect each other's views. Is it more important to be “right” or protect your relationship? Remember there are a lot of “rights," depending on who you are talking to, so avoid getting caught up in right vs. wrong. 【小题4】 And let others speak. Allowing others to speak until they are finished is a great rule for everyone to follow.

Be a good listener. 【小题5】 Avoid thinking about what you are going to say next. Focus on what is being said, what your family member might be feeling, and how you can empathize(产生共鸣).

I must have looked deep in thought, or as deep in thought as an 11­year­old man can, when my grandmother glanced up from her weeding to ask, “You have something on your mind, don't you?”

“Yes, I was thinking that someday I want to be an Olympic speed skating champion like my hero, Eric Heiden. I want to be a doctor like my father and I want to help children in Africa.”

I immediately knew I had confided (倾诉) to the right person when a knowing smile broke across her face.   “Johann, of course! You can do anything you want to do!” she said simply. And with my grandmother's support, I set out to pursue my passions.

14 years later, I was well ready to take hold of my first dream: becoming an Olympic champion. The Olympics in 1994 were in my home country, Norway. As I entered the Olympic stadium, I wasn't the best athlete, and many had doubts about my ability to perform well. But I had something special working for me. I had a woman in the first row who believed in me following my passions just as much as I did. For the first time ever, my grandmother was going to see me skate.

It happened. Breaking a world record, I won the gold.

As I stood on the podium (领奖台) that I had dreamed about my entire life,   a curious question popped into (突然进入) my head. Why me? Why did I win, given all the other incredible competitors out there? The reason had to be more than a grandmother who shared a belief in her grandson's dream. The question led me to only one answer: because I wanted to make a difference in the world, and with all the media attention on my success, I could.

I immediately knew what that difference had to be: hope in the lives of the children in Africa. Six months earlier, I'd been invited to Eritrea as an ambassador for Olympic Aid.