A daughter complained to her father about her life and how things were so hard for her, she did not know she was going to make it and want to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her father, a cook, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In one he placed carrots, in the second he placed eggs, and in the last he placed ground coffee beans. He let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

The daughter impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing. In about twenty minutes he turned off the burners. He fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out and placed them on a plate. Then he ladled the coffee out and placed it in a glass. Turning to her he asked, “Darling, what do you see?” “Carrots, eggs, and coffee.” she replied

He brought her closer and asked her to the carrots, she did and noted that they were soft. He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, he asked her to taste the coffee. She smiled, as she tasted it.

“What does it mean, Father?” she asked. He explained that each of them had faced the same adversity—boiling water, but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong and hard. But after being subjected to the boiling water, it’s softened and weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior (内部), but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique; however, after they were in the boiling water, they changed the water.

“Which are you?” he asked his daughter. When adversity knocks on your door in your life, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

In the mornings, as I walked from the train station to the office, I planned my day by making a to-do list in my head: the scientific articles I would read, the data sets I would analyze, and most urgent of all — the insights into human nature that it was my job to discover.

Each evening, I went back to the station, again going through my mental checklist but this time sizing up my performance against the expectations Td set for myself that morning. Time and again, when comparing my to-do list with my got-done list, I felt frustrated because I had fallen short.

But one day, something very strange happened. During my trip home, without any conscious intention, my thoughts began to change. Instead of feeling bad about my weaknesses, I said aloud very softly: I’m a nice person. I’m a nice person. I’m a nice person. By the time I boarded my train, I was done with my little chant-until the next day when I walked home. And again, after counting my failures, I found myself saying quietly: I’m a nice person. It turns out that there’s a technical term for this practice: values affirmation (肯定). And what it emphasizes is recognizing and strengthening the personal values you hold most dear.

When you affirm a core personal value, you raise your sense of self-worth. You broaden your outlook:Instead of focusing on your shortfalls, you switch to a wide-angle view that includes your resources and opportunities. And the people who do this are happier, healthier, and more hopeful. Over time, I made progress in my research and learned a lot about what makes most successful people special, including this: Nobody has passion and determination unless what they do lines up with their values. Try values affirmation for yourself and teach the practice to your students.

Take a moment and think of a value you hold dear, whether it’s kindness, creativity, or gratitude. Whatever it is, name it. And then say to yourself: Come what may, I know who I am. Your values are your foundation and your compass, too. Trust them, and they will lead you home.

Our tolerating ability is indeed way beyond our imagination.But not until the very critical moment will we realize our potential tolerating ability.

There was a woman in the countryside who got married at the age of 18 and had to escape with her two daughters and a son wherever she could at the age of 26 due to the Japanese army’s invasion, Many people could not bear the suffering of being a fugitive (逃亡者)and wanted to commit suicide.Knowing that, she would come to those people and soothed them by saying, "Don' t do that silly thing.There are no such setbacks that we could not overcome.The Japanese armies are bound to be driven away one day!”

Finally, she insisted until the day when all the Japanese armies were kicked out of China.However, her son died of disease without sufficient medicine and nutrition in those days of hardships.Her husband, after knowing the death of his son, lay in bed for two days without eating and drinking anything.She teared to her husband and said, “We have a tough destiny, but however tough our lives will be, we should persist in our efforts.”

After she gave birth to the second son, her husband died of edema (水肿), which almost, blew her away.But eventually, she recovered and embraced the three young children, saying, "My sweet hearts, don,: feel scared.You still have me, your dear mum!”

It took her painstaking efforts to raise her children up and, the life of her family was getting better and better.Two daughters were married and so was her son finally.She said to everyone she met,"Look! What I said is absolutely right.There are no such setbacks that we could not overcome! My life is so happy now!”

She lived until 86.Before she went to Heaven, she said to her children, You all should live to your best.There are no such setbacks that we could not overcome!”