June 18 is the birthday of my late sister, Tanya. She would have been 49 years old this year, but that’s increasingly difficult for me to imagine. She is frozen in time at 37.
Tanya died more than a decade ago and the wound left by her loss has healed into a scar (伤疤). It's a big scar. You can’t know me for very long without discovering my scar. Trust me; if you haven’t found it on your own, I will point it out to you. I want you all to know that she existed, and that she mattered.
When we first lose a loved one, we ask, “How will I live without you?” and wounds are open and weeping. We don’t know how we’ll cope with the pain. But then the wounds form scars, and we learn to live with our new skins. “How can I remember you?” we ask.
So many people are hesitant to talk about my sister. It is as though mentioning her will remind me that she is dead, and upset my balance when I am so happy. But I never forget my sister, not for a moment.
And so I love it when people mention Tanya’s name. Sometimes I come across one of her friends, and they casually bring up a memory, and it is like a gift.
So if you have friends who have lost loved ones, please don’t avoid talking about their loved one.
You won’t remind them of their loss, because it is always there. They haven’t forgotten their scar. They just don’t point it out to you.
Instead, try to reassure (使安心) them that their loved one is not forgotten. Ask questions about the deceased (逝去的) person’s life. Keep them alive in the only way you can after a person is gone, with your words and your memories.
I love hearing from friends on my sister’s birthday. It makes her present, despite her absence. It reminds us all that she was here. She walked this earth. She was loved, and she mattered. And on June 18, I embrace (欣然接受) my scar.
【小题1】What does “it” in paragraph 2 refer to?| A．The death of the author’s sister. |
| B．The birthday of the author’s sister. |
| C．The “scar” in the author’s heart. |
| D．The author’s love for her sister. |
| A．She becomes upset about it. |
| B．She worries that she must defend her sister. |
| C．She doesn’t know how to deal with it. |
| D．She is happy to be reminded of her sister. |
| A．Avoid talking about the person who died. |
| B．Keep them company as long as you can. |
| C．Help them to forget their painful scars. |
| D．Talk with them about the person who died. |
| A．Forget Your Loved One |
| B．Embrace Your Scar |
| C．Avoid Talking About Your Scar |
| D．Accept the Truth |
