Criticism (批评) is harmful to healthy relationships. It’s okay to express disappointment if someone is behaving in a way that hurts you. 【小题1】 The following are some ways to catch criticism before it begins.

【小题2】 Before you criticize, pause and consider whether you really need to say anything at all. If someone did something to get on your nerves, would you really need to point it out? Sometimes, it’s best to let small rudeness go Take a few deep breaths and leave the room instead of criticizing.

Be realistic. Critical people often have very high expectations of those around them. Your tendency to criticize may come from expecting too much from others. Sometimes you may find yourself consistently annoyed or disappointed with others. 【小题3】

Separate the individual from their actions. Critical people often focus on the negative aspects of a situation or a person, failing to see good qualities alongside negative ones. If you find yourself making assumptions about a person’s character, stop yourself. 【小题4】 We all behave poorly sometimes, but a single action is not a reflection of character.

Focus on positives. Oftentimes, being critical results from how you’re choosing to see a situation. 【小题5】 However, the vast majority of people have good qualities that outweigh the bad ones. Try to focus on a person’s positive qualities over their negative ones.

Chuck’s Friend

In the movie Cast Away, Tom Hanks plays a man named Chuck Noland. Chuck is a businessman who is always so busy that he has little time for his friends. He is a successful manager in a company that sends mail all over the world. One day Chuck is on a flight across the Pacific Ocean when suddenly his plane crashes. Chuck survives (存活) the crash and lands on a deserted island.

On the island, Chuck has to learn to survive all alone. He has to learn how to collect water, hunt for food, and make fire. Perhaps the most difficult challenge is how to survive without friends. In order to survive, Chuck develops a friendship with an unusual friend — a volleyball he calls Wilson.

Chuck learns a lot about himself when he is alone on the island. He realizes that he hasn’t been a very good friend because he has always been thinking about himself. During his five years on the island, Chuck learns how to be a good friend to Wilson. Even though Wilson is just a volleyball, he becomes fond of him. He talks to him and treats him as a friend. Chuck learns that we need friends to share happiness and sorrow, and that it is important to have someone to care about. He also learns that he should have cared more about his friends. When he makes friends with Wilson, he understands that friendship is about feelings and that we must give as much as we take.

A volleyball is certainly an unusual friend. Most of our friends are human beings, but we also make friends with animals and even things. For example, many of us have pets, and we all have favourite objects such as a lucky pen or a diary. The lesson we can learn from Chuck and all the others who have unusual friends is that friends are teachers. Friendship helps us understand who we are, why we need each other and what we can do for each other.

I’ve kept many of my childhood friendships so far. But as we grew up, some of them moved to other cities and those who remained in my city have jobs and families. Planning our schedules was challenging. I had to find a new way to make friends. So I asked relationship experts (专家) for their suggestions.

First, consider what’s keeping you from expanding (拓展) your friendships. “We can give it different names, like the fear of not being liked, or the fear of doing it wrong, or the fear of being judged,” says Shasta Nelson, a friendship expert. “Underneath all of that is the fear of being rejected (拒绝).”

When you know what’s holding you back, you can take steps to open yourself up to new friendships. If you’re looking for someone online who shares your interest like hiking, the app Meetup may be a perfect choice for you.

After hanging out online for some time, you may want to get together in person. But there’s always a risk of rejection. Still, someone needs to take the first step. Coffee or lunch is a good place to start. If you both own pets, meet at a dog park.

Make safety an important thing by meeting in a public space. Although you might think you know the person online, meeting face to face requires a different level of trust. Before you agree to meet someone in person, consider how much information they’ve shared with you. Do you know where they work and whether they have an online footprint? If you don’t think you know enough about them, keep your friendship online until you feel more comfortable getting together. Don’t let the rush of making a new friend cloud your better judgment.

After you’ve made the move from online friends to friends in real life, there’s no reason you can’t toggle (切换) between online and in-person friendships. Keep the momentum (势头) going and stay connected with your friends.