You’ve put on your nice clothes, your hair comes out just right, and someone tells you how great you look. But instead of enjoying the praise, you find it difficult to give a response. So, why can a compliment be so hard to accept?
“Many people have trouble accepting compliments. Sometimes, it’s tied to social anxiety. It can also be caused by feelings of low self-esteem, or by going through life without experiencing positive feelings of being grateful,” explains Lisa Schuman, a New York-based social worker. “Besides, if you’re feeling anger towards someone and they give you a compliment, you may find it hard to believe.”
Have you ever met a person who couldn’t respond well to someone’s well-meaning, kind words and had to escape from the conversation? Social anxiety disorder is not just a catch-all phrase; it’s an actual condition. People with it can really struggle with both giving and getting compliments. They may cast off kind words about themselves because they don’t feel worthy of getting them. This leads to a bad cycle of reducing self-esteem and even more social anxiety.
Even for people who don’t suffer from this disorder, compliments can sometimes lead to embarrassment, especially if you’re feeling unsure of yourself in the moment. And it’s a very rare person who never feels uncomfortable some of the time, either at parties or during close conversations. But learning how to accept compliments is an important social skill that everyone can benefit from, whether they experience social anxiety occasionally or often.
Studies have shown that self-knowledge and self-esteem are the two main influences on our social interactions. We actually bring our own feelings about ourselves into each conversation we have. Everyone has a poor self-esteem day every now and then. If we get a compliment on such a day, it’s hard to believe —— and pretty much impossible to accept. So even a pure-hearted, well-meaning and honest compliment is going to land on us like a lie. Then how can we properly deal with others’ compliments in that case?
【小题1】What do Lisa Schuman’s words suggest?| A．People often feel uneasy about being praised in public. |
| B．Everyone needs compliments to build their self-esteem. |
| C．Various causes can make it a real struggle to accept praise. |
| D．Many people have trouble accepting their own appearances. |
| A．Pick up on. | B．Get rid of. | C．Turn over. | D．Argue for. |
| A．The bad effects of social anxiety disorders. |
| B．The reasons for giving others more compliments. |
| C．The difficulties of strangers in praising each other. |
| D．The process of developing a social anxiety disorder. |
| A．Social skills are essential for a rich life. |
| B．Most people have more or less social anxiety. |
| C．Few people will experience embarrassment at parties. |
| D．Close conversations are helpful in reducing social anxiety. |
| A．How to have high self-esteem all the time. |
| B．What kind of compliments is the most acceptable. |
| C．Why people feel unsure of themselves in some moments. |
| D．How to respond well to compliments on a low self-esteem day. |
