He woke suddenly and completely. It was 4 a. m. at Christmas, the hour when his father had always called him to get up and help with milking the cow. Strange how the habit of his youth was with him still, even his father had been dead for 40 years. The magic of Christmas for him was a long childhood past, and he was wondering why he felt so awake when his mind went back to his teenage years.

He was 15 years old then and still on his father’s farm. A few days before Christmas, he heard what his father was saying to his mother.

“Mary, I hate to call Rob in the mornings. He’s growing so fast, and he needs his sleep. I could manage alone.”

“Well, you can’t, Adam.” His mother replied. “Besides, he isn’t a child anymore. It’s time to take his turn.”

When he heard these words, something in him woke: his father loved him so much as had never been thought before. Now that he knew so, there would be no more lying in the mornings waiting to be called. He got up and pulled on his clothes.

On the night before Christmas, he lay thinking about the next day. They were poor, and most of the excitement was in the turkey raised themselves and the mince pies made by his mother. His sisters made presents, and he always saved and bought something for parents.

However, he wished, that Christmas he was fifteen, and that he had a better present for his father than before. He looked out of the window and saw Dad working in a stable. Then a thought struck him: why should he not give his father a special gift out there in the stable? He could get up earlier, quietly go into it and get all the milking done. Then when his father went in to start the milking, he’d see it all done.

He had woken up twenty times in the night, looking at his watch for a proper time to start.

He went back in his bedroom with only one minute to jump into bed before hearing his father get up.

I had been going through some difficult times not so long ago dealing with the pressures of growing up and trying to communicate with my parents, particularly my mother. Our relationship had suffered because of this. When I got angry, it seemed like we would end up fighting with each other and not talk about what we were really feeling. Luckily, I have solved those problems now after we had a heart-to-heart “talk”.

A while back I ran away from home so that I could be far enough away to cool down. I stayed away for many hours, well into the night, before I finally decided to return home. When I walked through the front door, I immediately saw all the pain, anger and disappointment on my parents’ faces, especially my mother’s. For days to come, my mom and I experienced a lot of suffering. Everything we did or said was filled with tension until we were unable to control our feelings. We knew we badly needed to have a talk. We agreed to have breakfast together the next morning. That morning will remain fresh in my memory forever. It was a turning point.

We decided to go to a local café. On our way to the table, I noticed that my mother had two notebooks and some pens. I asked her what they were for. She explained to me that sometimes it was easier to write down our feelings rather than try to talk about them. She then handed me one notebook and she kept the other. The rules for that talk were that she would pick a topic, and we would write down our feelings, and then exchange our notebooks. It could be as long or as short as we wanted.

Our first topic was: “Why I am so angry.”

We exchanged our notebooks and read the words.

“Paris,I promise I’ll be there for you no matter what happens,”Kurt told his younger sister when they were nine and seven. It was the night their father left their family forever.

When Paris was in her early 60s,her husband, Shane, whom Kurt had trusted to care for her all these years, died. Her son left their house at 18 to travel the world. He never called or checked in. When she turned 67,her muscles didn’t work,and she had to use a wheelchair.

Kurt had to step in again to be her caregiver.

“I don’t want you to go there anymore. We had plans to travel the country,”Kurt’s wife,

Emily,complained one night.

“Emily,Paris is my sister. Ihave to be there for her. This is no time to think about trav- eling. She’s all alone and can’t move well anymore.”Kurt shook his head sadly.“I feel sorry for her, but we could just hire someone to care for her. This is not your job,”Emily added, gesturing with her arms.“It is my job! I promised I would never abandon her,”Kurt continued.

“That was years ago,and things have changed over time. You never expected her to be- come paralyzed(瘫痪的),”she said .

“She’s sick!She’s been sick all her life!That’s why Dad left!He couldn’t deal with a sick kid!Emily,Paris has periodic paralysis(周期性瘫痪),and we lived our entire lives watc- hing out for her because something could go wrong at any time!”Kurt revealed.“The fact that she is alive and only lost her movement is a miracle!”

“Paris never wanted people to know. When people find out you’re sick,it’s like everything changes.Even her own son didn’t know,but when he left,”Kurt added,“it was like losing her father again. When Shane died, it was even worse.”

Hearing Kurt’s words,Emily said she didn’t know Paris was actually sick.

However,Emily told Kurt that Paris was her sister-in-law,and they were family.