As a teacher we all have those memories of students—we wonder if we were able to teach or reach those students who had a need to get out of their seats every five minutes or so.

I recently received an e-mail from one such student, Paco. Paco’s e-mail brought back memories of one particular (特别) class.

In our high school’s first year, our classes were 80 minutes long instead of the traditional 40 minutes. On this particular day, I was being observed by two college professors. Of course, I was proud of the fact that the class was conducted entirely in Spanish and the students felt comfortable expressing themselves in Spanish.

On that day, Paco came running through the door with a toasted cheese sandwich in hand, saying “Senora Mike. I’m hungry and I hope you don’t mind if I just quickly eat this great toasted cheese sandwich.” I said, “Go ahead, Paco.” Paco sat down and finished his sandwich. Paco had now noticed our two visitors. Of course, our two visitors noticed Paco the minute he ran through the door.

The lesson was going along quite well, and all the students were working in their groups. Suddenly, Paco raised his hand and said, “Senora, esta lloviendo en mis pantalones.” (“Mrs. Mike, it is raining in my trousers.”) Now, being Paco’s Spanish teacher, I understood what he wanted. I knew that it was his way of requesting to go to the bathroom. You could just imagine the laughter from the other students.

I always wonder just how much Spanish Paco learned in that class, but I know he learned more than just Spanish based on an e-mail he recently wrote to me:

I know I didn’t behave myself but you actually cared. You knew I had potential (潜力). So even though I messed up a lot, you never gave up... I’m deeply thankful to you for everything you taught me about Spanish. My attitude and life will stick with me the rest of my day...

You see, Paco was my student ten years ago.

Throughout your life you will have many different kinds of relationships. Some relationships are casual and some are close. Strong, close relationships are fulfilling(有意义的). Most people need at least a few relationships of this type.

Ben liked to tell this story about his good friend Isaac: “Once after a big storm, tree branches were all over the yard, which meant I had a full morning of work. Then Isaac came, saying that since I had offered to drive us to the football game that afternoon, he wanted to save me the trouble of picking him up. He was three hours early, however, and he ‘just happened’ to have a rake(耙子) and heavy work gloves with him.”

Isaac showed he understood a basic principle of strong relationships: both sides give as well as receive, otherwise the relationship is unlikely to last.

In strong relationships, giving and getting are united. You feel worthy as a person when you have something to give. When you receive, you give thanks and show appreciation. The cycle of giving and receiving is on going.

One way to help keep relationships strong is to give a word of thanks to anyone who helps you. People can feel hurt if their help isn't acknowledged. For example, Amrit was growing frustrated because Curtis kept calling for help with his homework. So one day when Curtis called, he even thought about telling his brother to say that he wasn't at home. He was glad he didn't. Curtis had called to say how well he had done in his test and to thank Amrit for his help. Saying those two simple words-“Thank you”-can carry a relationship through rough times.

In today’s competitive student world, the ability to work harmoniously with other people is a good way of marking yourself off from everybody else. While teamwork may offer the chance to blame others for your mistakes, you can never blame them for your failings as a teammate. In any case, working out where to apportion blame is not a good way to approach membership of any new team. Instead, get to know one another, so you can build up a shared identity and combine your strengths. Find out each other’s values, weaknesses, and past achievements.

Don’t shy away from conflicts but work out how to deal with them. Humour can be a good glue, so have a laugh together.

Before settling down to business, it’s important to establish ground rules. First, make sure you all share the same concept of time. Then, work out how you are going to make and communicate decisions. These are probably best made at a formal meeting and communicated by e­mail. You must also agree on who will be responsible for making decisions.

Even if you have decided that decisions don’t have to be unanimous (一致的), it is important that every team member is kept involved, including those who always disagree with the majority view, rarely say a word, or have a strange haircut.

Once you’ve got your rules of engagement, define what you want to achieve, and set the deadline. Work out what you have to do before the time is up to do it. The team must assign (分配) roles according to everyone’s individual skills. Remember that every task is equally important.

Whatever your role, it is important to keep a record of what has been decided at each stage and what each member of the team has contributed. Then, when the task is over, you can review how well it went.