First Days

First days are milestones in our lives. They mark the beginning of a new experience or journey, They are also filled with mixed emotions. They can be a little frightening as we step into the unknown, but they can also inspire us as they give us fresh hope for the future. First days are powerful as we can leave our mistakes and failures in the past and make a new start.

I want to share a story that perfectly illustrates this point. It is a story about a little girl named Trisha. Trisha was born in a family of teachers who had taught her that reading was the key to knowledge. She watched her older brother as he read his schoolbooks and could hardly wait for the day when she would learn to read.

But when Trisha finally started school, she found that she was not able to understand the words like the other boys and girls. No matter how hard she tried the letters mixed up together, and she saw only confusion, Trisha fell further behind, the other children laughed and made fun of her, and she began to believe that she was not smart. By the time Trisha entered fifth grade, she had lost all confidence in herself. That was the year she met Mr. Falker. He was different. He praised Trisha’s talents, and he wouldn’t tolerate the other children teasing her. Mr. Falker realized that Trisha didn’t know how to read, but he knew she could with some help.

He recruited(招聘）a reading specialist, and together they worked with Trisha after school. They helped her to write letters and hear the sounds until one day Mr. Falker handed her a book and she read it all by herself. She didn’t even notice the tear, in his eyes.

This is a true story. The little girl is Patricia Polacco, the famous children’s author, and Thank you Mr. Falker is the twenty-sixth book that she has written.

We can all make a difference in the world—one student at a time by using first days” with wisdom and grace，and giving each individual the chance to start over and become the best that they can be.

When I was about 4 years old, I decided to go to Disney World. For most young kids, it’s a normal request, but I had cerebral palsy (脑瘫). Walking into anywhere, let alone a crowded place like Disney World was, to put it lightly, a tall order. Luckily, I had people in my corner to help me. Over the next three years, I worked with physical doctors, acquired a walker, and practiced walking, standing, and balance — all skills that I would need to turn my goal into a reality.

I remember the feeling when my legs would protest doing any more work. Despite this, everyone else told me I could do it, so I kept it up. It was all because of people like my parents, brothers, teachers, and doctors that I was able to grow so much, both physically and mentally. Constantly pushing me to “walk on,” yet encouraging me whenever I needed it.

On June 9, 2008, as I stood in the tunnel leading into Main Street, my dad asked me if I wanted any help. I instantly replied, “No!” and situated myself facing the end of the tunnel, feet planted firmly, heart most likely beating out of my chest. Then I went, walking ever so slowly at first, then gradually speeding up. Step, step, step, step, bump. Holding fast onto the handlebars, I gathered up all my strength, picked up my walker and straightened out, picking up my pace once again. It wasn’t too long before the cheering increased because I had made it to the end, where my mom was waiting with tears in her eyes and arms open wide ready to hug her son and tell him how proud she was.

Looking back on that experience, I realize something pretty thoughtful. Every once in a while, life will throw a few bumps in the road. Though it may set you back for a bit, don’t let it stop you. Pick yourself back up and finish. It’s worth it. Besides, there just might be someone there cheering you on along the way.

Human brains are social organs — they’re neurobiologically (神经生物) wired for connection. But just as our students’ brains can be unfavorably affected by negative mentality and misfortunes, so can their parents’ brains, affecting relationships with teachers.

What feels hurtful from a parent could be a worn-out brain, one that is trying to survive and so is defending itself and paying close attention to experiences or relationships that may feel terrifying or unsafe.

There are times when we may feel harmed by a parent, and we too can fire off sharp words if we re feeling misunderstood and angry. We may also unintentionally increase a conflict while moving farther away from cooperation and solutions. A poorly regulated educator cannot help a poorly regulated parent.

I myself have been blamed for my son’s upsetting behaviors when he was struggling emotionally. Eleven years ago, when Andrew became a newcomer in high school, the anxiety and anger masking the fear he felt almost destroyed our family. We felt helpless and often hopeless.

In the middle of this scary time, I received an email from Andrew’s Spanish teacher.

I wanted you to know that Andrew finished his project today and had a smile on his face. I just wanted to share that with you.

Please let me know how I may serve you in the days to come.

Mr: Pickett

This email changed everything for me as a mom and as an educator. It helped our family experience a bit of hope and inspiration. Andrew worked hard for Mr. Pickett that term and ended with an A. He failed most of his other classes, but because of the connection this teacher created with Andrew, he felt heard, seen, and appreciated.

One thing I’ve learned is that I must regulate my own brain state before I interact with parents. Mr. Pickett’s effort to foster a positive relationship with my family and my son has shown me a way to support both students and their parents.