Valentine's Day had arrived and like other days of the year, I was very busy.

My romantic husband, Roy, planned a date like we had never had before. A reservation at an expensive restaurant was made. A beautifully wrapped present had been sitting on my dresser for a few days before the heart-filled holiday.

After a hard day at work, I hurried home, ran into the house and jumped into the shower.

Unfortunately, the youngest member in our household wasn't so happy.

"Daddy, you were going to take me to buy Mamma a present," Becky, my eight-year-old daughter said, as she sadly walked over to the sofa and sat down beside the babysitter.

Roy looked at his watch and realized that if we were to make our reservations, we had to leave right away. He didn't even have a few minutes to take her to the store to buy a heart-shaped box of chocolate candy. "I'm sorry, I was late getting home, honey," he said.

"That's OK," Becky replied. "I understand."

The entire evening was bittersweet. I couldn't help being concerned about the disappointment in Becky's eyes. I remembered how the joy of Valentine's Day had left her face just before the door closed behind us. She wanted me to know how much she loved me. She didn't realize it, but I already knew it very well.

Today, I can't remember what was wrapped in that beautiful box, which I was excited for sev- eral days, but I'll never forget the special gift, which I received when we arrived, back home.

Becky was asleep on the sofa., holding a box, which was sitting on her lap. When I kissed her cheek, she awoke. "I've made something for you, Mamma," she said, as a big smile covered her ti- ny face.

The little box was wrapped in newspaper. As I tore the paper off and opened the box, I found the sweetest Valentine gift that I have ever received. It was a heart-shaped pillow, filled with love, which I'll cherish forever.

My wonderful Valentine gift has a special place in my bedroom today, some thirteen years later. As she was growing up into a young woman, many times I held that pillow close to my heart. I don't know if a pillow can hold magic, but this pillow has surely held a great deal of joy for me over the years. It has helped me through several sleepless nights since she left home for college. I not only treasure the gift, but the memory, as well.

I know that I am a very lucky mother, indeed, to have such a wonderful little girl, who wanted so much to share her heart with me. As long as I live, there will never be another Valentine's Day, which will be any more special to me.

Having an actual phobia (恐惧症) is anything but enjoyable. 【小题1】 . For children, it leads to heightened anxiety and may lead up to school avoidance. If you or your child experiences a phobia, you may wish to try the following to reduce the distress surrounding it.

1. Name the fear.

【小题2】 . Dr. Dan Siegel, clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA, summarizes this experience as “name it to tame it.” Pixar’s movie Monsters, Inc. illustrates this nicely as the monster in the closet becomes less scary when Boo names it Kitty.

2. Talk about and analyze the fear.

Ask yourself whether the fear is sensible. 【小题3】 . It is important to note that while the percentage of many feared items happening is extremely remote, they are not necessarily 0 percent. Therefore, this step is often paired with finding a way to make peace with the feared stimulus (刺激物) still existing in the world.

3. Safely face the fear.

This is demonstrated to be the most enduring way to put fears behind us. Any unhelpful coping mechanisms, especially avoidance, must be removed. 【小题4】 . For instance, if someone is afraid of snakes, picturing a snake in one’s mind comes first, then looking at a picture of the sidewinder (响尾蛇), and finally going to the zoo. These steps can be paired with relaxation strategies to limit the physiological fear response. Not facing, or worse, avoiding, fear tends to give it more power and make the phobia stronger over time.

【小题5】 . However, when that fear becomes excessive or fixed, it can prevent us from enjoying the joys or necessities of life. If a phobia persists, it is always an option to seek the help of a mental health professional. Whatever you do, it is important not to let the fear consume you or your child’s life.

When my grandmother was raising me in Stamps,Arkansas,she had a particular routine(惯例)when people who were known to be whiners entered her store. My grandmother would ask the customer,“How are you doing today,Thomas？” The person would reply,“Not so good today, Henderson.You see,it’s this summer heat.I just hate it.It just makes me tired.It’s almost killing me.”Then my grandmother would stand calmly,her arms folded,and say,“Uh-huh,uh huh.”

As soon as the complainer was out of the store,my grandmother would call me to stand in front of her.Then she would say the same thing she had said at least a thousand times,it seemed to me.“Jane,did you hear what so-and-so complained about？”And I would nod.Grandmother would continue,“Jane,there are people who went to sleep all over the world last night,poor and rich and black and white,but they will never wake again.Those dead people would give anything,anything at all for just five minutes of this weather that person was complaining about.So you watch yourself about complaining,Jane.What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it.If you can’t change it,change the way you think about it.Don’t complain.”

I have learned a lot from my grandmother.Her opinions always hit the nail on the head.Whining is not only impolite, but can be dangerous.