My Ph. D. adviser called me into his office. After 15 minutes of listing my positive things, he looked me in the eye, saying, “You are fired from the lab.”

I had moved to Israel from my native India the year before, excited to experience a new culture and study for a Ph. D. At first things went well in my new lab. Three months later, I made several mistakes in the lab that slowed my research, but I wasn’t aware that my adviser noticed them, and he never spoke to me about any concerns. I’m still not sure why he fired me, but I guess that because of those mistakes, he wasn’t confident that I could complete my research as scheduled.

The first few days after I was fired was especially difficult. I spent hours staring at my computer screen, unable to get anything done. One day all I could do was sit on a beach and cry. I tried to change his mind with promising results, but he stuck to his decision. I could not break the news to my family in India, as the fear of disappointing them would overwhelm (使不知所措) me. I soon got into a state of sadness and anxiety, lonely and hopeless.

Around that time, I watched Dasvidaniya, a Bollywood movie that’s about a man who has three months to live. One line from the movie stuck out to me — When life gives you lemons, make lemonade (柠檬汁). What kind of lemonade could I make out of my present situation? My desire to complete a Ph. D. was never in doubt. On reflection, I told myself that I needed to give it another try. With renewed confidence, I emailed other advisers and applied to other programs. Within two months, I landed an offer from a Ph. D. program in Italy. I accepted it and relocated to Europe, happy that my goal of completing a Ph. D. was alive once again.

I’m thankful that I didn’t give up my dream and that I found another professor willing to take me on.

I grew up with the same group of kids from age 5 to age 12. We lived in the same community, shared the same schools and experienced all the ups and downs of that period.

Then I hit junior high and a whole new world opened up to me. It seemed everyone was there, friends from football teams and people from the summer workshop. They welcomed me, figuring that I had to be cool to know so many people. I was a different person with each new group of friends and began to distance myself from the “kindergarten group”.

However, it wasn’t long before these so-called new friends left me when they found out I really wasn’t cool enough to be there. This was one of the hardest times in my life. I felt alone and was very disappointed in myself. It was then, when I thought I had nowhere else to go, that I tried to make my way back into the “kindergarten group”. I organized a camp-out and invited them to come. I had thought they were going to be cold and exclude me as I had done to them. But they all turned up and we just picked up right where we left off. There was absolutely no hate, only comfort and an unexpected sense of belonging. They gave me room to grow and learn my own lessons, my own way, in my own time.

From them, I have learned two things: the type of friends I want, and the type of friend I want to be. We will all continue to grow separately together, all the while providing the unconditional love, understanding and support only friends like these are capable of.