Many Americans find silence uncomfortable while staying in a buffet(自助餐) or at a dinner. So in the United States there is a widespread practice of making “small talk” in certain social situations. Small talk deals with various topics superficially, simply for the sake of keeping a conversation going. The topics might include the weather, sports, college courses, clothing, food, etc. Small talk is especially useful at social gatherings when you meet someone for the first time, or when polite conversation is expected but no serious discussion is desired.

It is common but not necessarily expected that one knows someone in a group before engaging with him or her in conversation. However, at a party or other informal social gathering, a simple “May I join you?” and a self-introduction is normally sufficient to gain acceptance into a group and to join in a conversation. In some places, such as the lobby of a concert hall or theatre, a waiting room or a classroom, it is common for strangers to start a conversation even without an introduction.

Despite the informal phenomenon that is all over the US society, people in the States expect those whom they speak to to put aside whatever they are doing and listening. As a rule, the conversation distance between two people is at least two or three feet. Standing more closely will make many Americans feel uneasy.

There is always a reason why an old lady gives you a serious look – you are being too loud, dressed improperly or not crossing the street in the right place. Sometimes it can be lovely, but if you are already having a bad day, a mean old lady can drive you mad.

What to do about it:

I’ve come to realize that when people start conflicts, it is actually an expression of their inner state expressed in an outside way. You, your personality, your looks or your actions have nothing to do with it. It is not personal, so why take it personally?

2. That person, who cuts in front of everybody in line

This is something that gets me angry. Even if I am not in a hurry, I still feel bad for the other people in line who are being treated unjustly. Are you more patient than I am or do you feel annoying too?

What to do about it:

If we have negative thoughts then we are wasting our energy on negativity. Situations like this could be a great opportunity to learn to control our first negative responses and practice understanding. After all, the person may just have a quick question or maybe there is an emergency.

3. Friends that tell you “I told you so”

It is one thing to admit that you made a mistake and another to hear it from a friend. Friends should be there to support you and cheer you up when you are feeling down, not make themselves feel better at your expense, right?

What to do about it:

It helps to remember that when people say “I told you so”, they may mean, “Please listen to my advice to avoid future mistakes.” If this is not the help you need – voice it out, without getting defensive.