What you give your relatives and friends can help you know yourself better. 【小题1】 Most gift-giving (and getting) shows nothing more than the spirit of love and friendship. But it is possible to form some associations between the kinds of things brought and the people who buy them. 【小题2】

The clothes you wear tell something about your personality. They tell the world not only how you want to be seen but how you see yourself as well. When someone gives you something to wear that agrees with your self-image, they’re saying, “【小题3】” Such a gift should be taken as a form of compliment (赞美). On the other hand, a gift of clothing that doesn’t match your personality could be an insult (侮辱) to your character.

【小题4】 If you receive a homemade gift, you re lucky. It may not be made perfectly, but it will show a certain quality of love. They’ve given time and emotion, two important characteristics of being creative.

People who give books as gifts either like reading or would like everyone to think they do. If you happen to receive a large, heavy book, its giver may be much more interested in the way things appear than in the way they actually are. Of course, reading is a way of feeling the emotions of another person and of learning new things. 【小题5】 The giver is probably trying to say to you what the book said to him.

We often focus on building relationships with others so that we forget the essential first step: being friends of ourselves. That is the crucial first step if we are to have good relationships with others. How can we have good relationships with others if we don't even have good relationship with ourselves? The problem might be worse than we expect. Maybe we don't like ourselves without realizing it.

For example, maybe you have made mistakes in the past which you feel bad about. You might be disappointed with yourself on why you could make such mistakes. Even if that happened in distant past, your subconscious (潜意识) mind still has a reason not to like yourself.

You might wish that you were born in different family, or that you have different background. Maybe you could not accept the fact that you are not as lucky as others, who seem to get whatever they want effortlessly because of their background.

You might have some personal traits that you don't like. For example, you may be an introvert ( 内向的人) and you don't like it; you wish you are an extrovert (外向的人).

Your achievements relate to others. They might have better achievements than you, and no matter how hard you tried, it might seem impossible for you to match them. You might then think that it's because you are not smart enough or don't have enough talents.

Is there anything that resonates (产生共鸣) with you? All these give reasons to you not to like yourself. That in turn makes it difficult for you to be a good friend to yourself.

Fortunately, there are always things you can do to fix the situation. Here are some tips:

Most people aren’t good at creative problem solving for two reasons: First, they are not trained in how to be creative. Second, they don’t understand group strength well enough to harness(驾驭) their power to maximize group creativity.

A key element of creativity is applying existing knowledge to a new problem. The more people getting involved in solving it, the more knowledge there is to work on it. Unfortunately, research shows that the traditional brainstorming methods fail to achieve that goal. When groups get together to exchange ideas, they actually come up with fewer ideas overall than if they each had worked alone.

To fix this problem, you should consider the two stages of group problem-solving: divergence(分散) and convergence(集中). Divergence happens when the group considers as many different potential solutions as possible. Convergence happens when the various proposed solutions are evaluated and reduced to a smaller set of candidate solutions to the current problem.

The essential principle of group creativity is that individuals working alone diverge, whereas group members working together converge. In groups, once a member states a potential solution, it makes others think about the problem similarly. That is why groups working together diverge less than individuals working alone.

Therefore, be aware of when to diverge and when to converge. For example, early in the problem-solving process, have group members work alone to write down statements describing the problem. Then get them back to discuss their descriptions. The group discussion will lead everyone to accept one or a small number of these statements to work on—this is healthy convergence.

When starting to generate solutions, you again want divergence. Have people work alone to start. Then collect people’s initial ideas and send them around to others and allow the divergence to continue as everyone individually builds on the ideas of other members. Finally, let the group discuss the resulting ideas. This discussion will gradually lead the group to converge on a small number of candidate solutions.

This simple method works effectively, because it respects what individuals and groups do best.