Four Habits That Lead to Emotional Security

Can you become more emotionally secure by doing certain things differently? 【小题1】 Doing what emotionally secure people do creates results. What follows is a list of good habits.

●   Be willing to apologize.

Do you know that refusing to apologize may actually increase your ego (自负)? 【小题2】 This creates insecurity because you then must defend your ego. Since nobody is perfect, it seems important to learn to apologize, admit when you are wrong and confess your limitations.

●   Be willing to accept failure.

Emotionally secure people can recognize and accept failure. This may be why two top schools in England teach failure as part of their curriculum. 【小题3】

●   Learn to manage self-criticism.

Self-criticism is a usual stumbling block (绊脚石). It may be the most common psychological hang-up (障碍) in existence. 【小题4】 Constant self-criticism creates a lot of insecurity. Emotionally secure people handle the critical inner voice and do not allow it to control them.

●   【小题5】

Taking a more objective viewpoint on your own life gives you access to the big picture. Emotionally immature people tend to lack thinking and make poor decisions, which will only create more problems to feel insecure about. One solution is to step back and consider the big picture before making decisions.

Do you have a friend who is upset about his or her parent’s drinking? You want to do something to help, but what? Your friend may not talk about this with you, but you can still be a good friend. One out of four children lives with at least one adult who has alcoholism, so your friend is not alone.

●Be a good listener. Your friend may need someone to talk to. Listen to your friend and suggest that she or he talk to a trusted adult in addition to talking to you .You can offer a good listening ear, but sometimes an adult is needed for more serious things. Maybe you can suggest a caring adult for your friend to talk to, such as a teacher, a neighbor, or a grandparent. He will listen and support your friend, and he will not hurt your friend or put your friend down.

●Don’t spread gossip(闲话) about your friend’s family. It’s okay to tell your parents or another trusted adult what is going on, but respect your friend’s right by not telling other kids in your class.

●Ask your parents if your friend ___________your house, and then invite your friend over for enjoyable activities or to do homework together. Sometimes your friend might just need to get away and have fun being a kid.

●Don’t ride in a car when a friend’s parent has been drinking if you can avoid it. It is not safe. Call your parents, walk, or try to get a ride with an adult you know who has not been drinking. If you must get in the car with a drinking driver, sit in the middle of the back seat with your seat belt fastened. Lock your doors and try to stay calm.

The quality of our decisions today will determine the quality of our life tomorrow. However, even smart people make stupid decisions.

【小题1】 But by far, the most powerful is “confirmation bias (认知偏差)” which refers to our tendency to look for and favor evidence that confirms our pre-existing beliefs and at the same time ignores or devalues information that contradicts our beliefs. Then, how can we best fight against confirmation biases and avoid making bad decisions? 【小题2】

Step 1: Practice self-awareness.

Self-awareness is a process of discovery, of exploring your inner knowing. Becoming more self-aware can help you understand your wants, needs, and desires as well as your strengths and weaknesses. Studies have shown that self-awareness exercises that encourage you to slow down and relax could also help you to improve your creativity and decision-making. 【小题3】 Some common techniques like journaling and observing others are simple and powerful.

Step 2: 【小题4】

It takes courage to admit you're wrong after the fact. It takes even more courage to disprove and challenge your own assumptions before the decision. Next time you're faced with a problem or challenge, try not to make unreasonable decision based simply on your personal beliefs and emotions. 【小题5】 This will prepare you to make a well-rounded good decision.

Next time you feel absolutely certain about a decision, remember that you may be wrong. Stay open-minded to the possibility that there is a lot more information that you don't know yet. After all, people may easily fall into victims of confirmation biases.