Building a Lasting Social Relationship

We all know that friends are special people who we share our lives with, and who share their lives with us in return. 【小题1】

According to research recently published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, the key is to use “we-talk”.

Led by University of California psychologist Megan Robins and her colleagues, the researchers reviewed and analyzed 30 different studies involving over 5,000 participants. 【小题2】

The word “we” moves people from an individual position into a partnership, which makes us more interdependent. “【小题3】 Word use is a window into what people are thinking and feeling without asking them,” Robbins told Science Daily.

【小题4】 The primary point is that interdependence may bring about supportive and relationship-centered behaviors and positive perceptions of the partner — especially important in times of stress and disagreement.

Contrary to “we-talk”, there is “I-talk”, which refers to the frequent use of the first-person singular pronouns, such as “I”, “me” and “mine”, when writing or speaking. Earlier this year, researcher analyzed a set of data that came from 47,000 people in Germany and the US. 【小题5】 As you can see from the two studies, too much “I-talk” can make you feel depressed. But “we-talk” can encourage you to become more positive and create a chain effect of healthy interdependence with others.

So next time you are talking to a friend, try using more “we-talk”. You may find yourself feeling more positive — and the effect it will have on your friend will be positive as well.