My mother put the golden butterfly pendant (吊坠) on my neck. In her eyes, I saw pride for the first woman of our family to achieve a university education.

My grandmother loved to tell us stories of her first years at primary school on the small island of Chios, Greece: her beautiful handwriting, much praised by her teachers and her good marks. All this changed in Grade 4 when one day my grandmother’s nose started to bleed as she was doing her homework. It scared my great-grandmother, because in those years, many were dying from tuberculosis (结核病). Spending hours indoors studying was associated with growing weak and pale, a sign of that terrible disease. The family prohibited Grandma from finishing primary school and sent her to a local factory.

My mother was able to finish high school on Chios. She was an excellent student and her parents encouraged her to pursue her dream of becoming a teacher. Unfortunately, the Second World War clipped her wings. She ended up marrying and looking after her family’s businesses.

As I grew up, my mother always urged me to get the university education that she was denied. Sometimes I remember wanting to help her out with cooking or baking. “No,” my mother would say. “Go back to your homework! That takes priority!” My father, following the Greek tradition, would tell her: “Teach Sophia to cook! What is she going to feed her family?” I also remember relatives telling my parents to hurry and arrange a marriage for me as soon as I finished high school. “There is time for all that! Later on! First, she will get a degree!” my mother always hurried to reply.

On my university graduation, my mother presented me with my grandma’s special pendant. “But this is the pendant Grandma used to say she would only give me on my engagement day!” I reminded my mother. “A degree is better than an engagement ring; that’s what I told Grandma and she agreed,” my mother replied.

A cousin sent an email saying she had been out cutting her lawn (草坪) for two hours in the hot Nebraska sun and the smell of grass was in her nose. She said it reminded her of her dad working outside.

“Not a breath of cool air out there, unbearable for all the crew but Dad. During their lunch break, Dad would have a couple of sandwiches and skip the iced tea. He’d have creamed coffee. That was my hero—loyal, very, very hard-working, so wonderful. Funny what a smell can remind you.”

Her dad and my dad were brothers. There were five boys in the family. The boys were cut from the same cloth. Every one of them enjoyed hard work.

It wasn’t easy raising a large family during the Depression (大萧条), yet their farm was the first one for miles around to have electricity. Their dad made a small power station using batteries. Resourcefulness (足智多谋) was second nature.

When my parents married, they didn’t have much. When they got a dog, he managed to build a doghouse from wood.

I think of my dad when I see a barbecue. He loved to grill (烧烤). Burgers, hot dogs, steak. For years, he and Mom hosted a huge Fourth of July brunch and grilled pancakes and sausages before the neighborhood parade.

He loved grilling out especially when it was hot — 90℉ (about 32℃) was good, even 100℉ (about 37.8℃) wasn’t too high. That was also his favorite time to mow (割草). He and all his brothers were most comfortable outside. It came from the farm imprint, spring planting, summers in the fields and fall harvest.

At my dad’s retirement party, at a large university where he had worked his way up to purchasing director, he was standing by himself, looking at the crowd, having a good time when he laughed and said, “I never did want a desk job.”

I don’t think I realized until that moment how much our dad loved us. He had enjoyed his career and the people he worked with, but until the day he died, there was nothing as beautiful as a stand of wheat or a field of corn.

Here’s to dads everywhere who work hard and do what needs to be done for the love of family.

The quality of the family relationship is more important than the family configuration (结构). A healthy family relationship is the base of a happy family. 【小题1】 Although family relationships are different, there are certain features that healthy family relationships share. 

Families with healthy relationships have positive and meaningful communication. Family members listen to and genuinely care about what the others are saying. In these families, communication is on a deep enough level. 【小题2】 When some feedback and constructive criticism are given, love and affection are made clear by the use of positive words.  

A family with a healthy relationship requires every single family member’s commitment (奉献). Family members regard their family as a top priority (优先考虑的事) and consider the impact on relatives before making important decisions. Family members are dependable and always there for each other in times of crisis. 【小题3】

A feature of healthy family relationships is that family members spend time doing enjoyable activities together. 【小题4】 Often, these activities become family traditions, such as sharing meals together, having family outings every weekend or playing sports together. 

【小题5】 Family members accept that they each have their own personalities, qualities and interests. Everyone plays an important role in the family. When there is conflict between family members, it is solved in a positive and healthy manner. Family members also respect each other’s achievements and show appreciation for other members.